not all the time...
I used to be of the mind that I should come first.
everything should revolve around me...
I still revert to that sometimes...
because being selfless is about the hardest thing you can do...
and though I feel that it is the right thing to do, the path in which to do it is not quite clear to me...
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where do you draw the line?
I mean, you have to draw a line somewhere...
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I guess the problem that I have, is quid pro quo...
there are just somethings that you take as common courtesy - a simple sign of respect.
The things is, there is no way that you should expect anything in return - you should just suck up the fact that the person is either unaware or rude and move on...
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That is hard...
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It's refreshing when courtesy is returned from courtesy given, but it should not be expected.
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let's say I submit to the fact that I should not anticipate any type of civility in return - then am I essentially making my mind up that I think everyone is rude?
but doesn't that contradict that you should believe the best in everyone?
Or am I relegated to an expectaction that I should not expect anything, positive or negative and believe that everyone is oblivious to social custom?
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Please note, I do not believe that I am the epitome of social grace - in fact, I probably take that which I know of etiquette and flip it to make some kind of attention hogging scheme (I would like to think in appropriate settings, but who can honestly be a good judge of that? In any case, we all know that is probably not true...) - but there are definitely times where a modicum of tact is required, and I certainly believe I know when that is...
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ahem...
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Anyway, moving away from me...
there are definite feelings involved with helping others without the ego getting in the way...
perhaps you think you are helping someone, and the someone actually thinks they are helping you and you both get steamed because neither party seems grateful...
which is a huge reason why you should just help and not expect anything in return...
then it because an act of pure charity.
no ulterior motive.
helping to help, not because you are supposed to, but because you want to...
helping, not because you want to do something right, but because it is the right thing to do.
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these are, assuredly, not the same thing.
why, if they were, then I see what I eat, and I eat what I see would also be the same thing, and we know that's not true...
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it's not about me...
why?
because we are supposed to serve.
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then the voice in your head says, "But there are all these people that are not serving other - there are people taking advantage of those that are serving others..."
what then?
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yeah...
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Mt. 6:19-21
Thursday, January 20, 2005
it's not about me...
posted @ 14:57 by ryan in [ A journey into the mind... ]
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