babiegoose.com

so we all know someone whom everyone - everyone - just tears apart when they aren't in the room.

of course you are usually civil to the person when they are around, and given a long enough absence, even friendly towards...

but man - I get paranoid - because I'm present during many conversations about those individuals whom no one really cares all that much for and who annoy them to no end - I sometimes wonder if I am ever the topic of such loathsome discussions... you never know... I think everyone talks about everyone to some extent, although probably not to the degree of disgust about whom others are discussed...

but we will talk about the talkers in a second... let's talk about the targets.

these are the people who usually talk a lot about stuff they think they know and usually get in trouble because they don't know nearly as much... they also think they can talk their way out of any situation, when really their mouths act as shovels - digging them deeper and deeper in to humiliation to which they are blissfully unaware.

or worse... they are completely aware and they are unable to stop because something compels them... and that's a physical condition which sucks for them, but hey - what can you do.

anyhow, these are the people that clear conversation killers. any group gathered discussing anything at all will be immediately dispersed once this individual begins talking. these are also the individuals whom no one will talk to unless absolutely necessary. People do not stop by their desks to chat.

these are the people that come up during bar conversations and are laughed at, cried over, and vented about... (which was the case last night for me an several co-workers... at one point, my judgement was not nearly as sound as it should be - due to my love-him/hate-him friend jagermeister - and I ended up playing bloody knuckles with a 300lb 6'6" 10th degree black belt... fortunately for me, he missed a bunch of times and I escaped with nice bruise on between my middle and ring knuckles.)

anyhow - these people are important - most day-to-day work becomes repetition and these annoying people are the glue that unites all other co-workers...

well, aside from other shared interests and common bonding topics...

but whatever.

so about the talkers... gossip is normal. everyone does it, but I guess it should really be done less than it is, but some times getting into other people's business is the only thing to do.

why?

because it is impersonal - you can talk about it for hours without having to invest all that much personally. you can also talk about while only revealing the tiniest bits of information about yourself (like you gossip about people, and you wouldn't do x or y or z so you disapprove of things)

because you just need to vent - sometimes the things that other people do just piss you off that if you didn't have any kind of release then you would probably go insane (which is why humans do rememeber exactly everything at all times) and other people are there to help you release that frustration.

because you are a jerk. well, this isn't always the case, but face it - some of the things that come out of your mouth aren't of the model of the upstanding citizen types...

the fact is, there will always be that person that everyone talks about when they aren't there, and truthfully - someone will have something to say about something you did no matter who you are - and what they say won't always be pretty.

buck up.

the only thing you can do is to do what you think is right at the moment you make the decision to do something - forget what people will think and forget about whether the thing that you thought was right turns out to be wrong because you thought it was right and now you learned something. worrying about what other people think will just make you miserable.

if you do that, at least when people talk about you behind your back and you find out, you can always say "I did what I thought was right at the time" and that's the best anyone can do...

no matter how much they talk, they have to respect that no one knows everything and it takes a lot to do the right thing... even if it turns out to be the wrong thing because no one is perfect.

oh... another thing you can do is to try and not talk about that someone and maybe talking to that someone... I tried once. it wasn't pretty.