babiegoose.com

[queue - dance of the sugar plum faries]

so as I sit there, on the freeway, you know - driving to work. I get cut off by an bimmer whilst in between some solid white lines.

now I am not one to judge as I am prone to do the very same thing when I am in a hurry... or if I am just impatient (very often the two coincide) - but it just piled a tetris block of frustration (usually a Z-block or S-block on a perfectly flat configuration) on my stack for the day...

today I wasn't in a hurry - I was actually on time (for once)... but traffic was annoyingly slow. add another Z-block.

about a half a mile later, I discover that the cause for the congestion is due to the fact that a police car was investigating four cars on the side of the road - from my estimation, they were all speeding and he got all four of them, or they were all invloved in some fender bender.

oooh... big whup.

so in my head I'm thinking to the other cars on the road - you frustrating people are slowing everyone down because you want to rubber neck... Add four S-blocks in a row.

[music speeds up dramtically]

for a moment, however, I am thinking, well what if these people are slowing down for the sake of caution and not because they are stragely drawn to stare and some supposed misfortune... A T-block to complete a tetris-ready section and a straight-block for the tetris

[music slows - level up]

that thought quickly dissipates once I realize that I'm in the lane farthest from the accident and it's a four lane road. A bunch of square blocks and S-blocks which end up blocking gaps left by all the Z-blocks and other S-blocks

[game over - I never got any L-blocks and only the one T]

in any case - it got me thinking - just beacuse I do that when I experience a moment of guilt - why is it that we (and I generalize we, because I only know for sure about me, but it makes me feel better when I can attribute this to everyone else as well) why is it that we are so easy to believe the worst about a situation and it more difficult to believe in the good.

... ... ...

I need a hero...

of course we believe in the good of other people, but how often do we try to find faults in the person who has done good deeds. sure, we are content to believe the best, but once someone casts a tiniest shadow of doubt, the images begin to crumble and our heroes are torn down faster than we can build them up.

In our heads we think - really, who among us is truly noble? there are saints in the world (although not yet labeled because they aren't dead yet and they have not had three miracles attributed to them, and since they aren't dead you can't check the degree their bodies are incorrupted) so I guess they are noble, but for the rest of us shmoes?

[The "Do-you-think-you're-better-than-me? attitude - much more prevalent in some people than in others - I am much too arrogant for that, so I usually have the "Dude-I-am-so-totally-better-than-you-so-why-are-you-even-trying-to-argue" attitude - which probably angers people more than the former, since the former gives the other person an out for a comeback and the latter just makes you want to kick that person's ass. In any case, though however rare, I do recognize when I am bested and I shut up when I am put in my place - and although I accept it, it doesn't mean that I have to like it - but this is not about me]

we really do need heroes. we need something to believe in because that gives us hope. it is so easy for us to dispair, regardless of how much faith you have, even if it be for just the slightest moment.

everyday heroes make us believe in the goodness of ourselves. they help us to realize, or reinforce rather, that we, as individuals and as people, are capable of great good. the problem becomes when we believe in it so much that our heroes are no longer elevated, but become peers, and at once we believe that we are able to achieve that which we have not... not to say that the potential isn't there, but that the feat is no longer special or important. That familiarity then breeds contempt, for the acknowledgement they received for doing what we believe we could do (but haven't) generates jealousy - why should they get credit for doing what everyone else can do. Of course, no one else has done it - but what does that matter - because the your own individual is important.

good job. how often is that praise really genuine or are they just empty words which we feel obliged to speak? can we really look inside ourselves and say, yes - we really do care about it? Or, is most congratulation that we might believe is authentic because we believe, in some small recess of ourselves, that we contributed in some small way or in some way benefit from the action and therefore we share in the celebration. Do we truly believe our congratulation without motive or is our applause merely just going through the motions?

if someone you don't know somewhere else achieves something, and you read about it or are told second hand and neither participated nor profited, do you really care?

Me? no, not really. I think, how nice for that person. I give an approving nod and then it becomes a forgettable factoid.

Although, it's a little different with family and friends, because if someone you know is completely happy about something which you neither helped nor benefit from, seeing them happy makes you happy because they are happy. Not nearly so much if you were a part of it, but you still feel for them and that's love. But then how long does that praise last once they leave? For the person receiving the acclaim, it lasts much longer than the person giving it.

Ah - so then the praise isn't about you - it's about the other person. For me personally - I'd rather not hear it unless it's real - and it doesn't have to be some exuberant display of gushing affection. it can be a simple, camly stated - "Good job" or "That's a good deck" or "Good play" or simply "Thank you"...

because when it's real - it doesn't have to be trumpets and trombones - the simple fact that it is real makes it resonate throughout the universe.

so love changes everything. it excuses many things, and forgives much more readily. so why is it so hard for everyone to love everyone else?

"why should I?"... that would be the question most people would ask first. followed by - "they haven't done anything for me" or "I don't even know them"

also, in general, there are just some people that just plain piss you off - and you only have some much strength to endure that person that there is none left for any effort to try to change your thinking in a way to embrace that person...

what can I say... it happens.

but it doesn't mean we stop trying.

so today - say something nice and mean it - I don't know how you can do that because you have every right to feel what you feel, but maybe there is some way to change your perspective to feel the way you "should" feel or rather in a way that allows you to love that person in some way.

but that's the trick hunh?

and you know what?

sometimes we are just tired and it's just easier to snap, or to yell, or to get angry, or to ignore...

so we pray for strength (because that's where patience comes from), because distancing yourself is just like ignoring it, unless you are really working through it (but just away) which works...

::: ::: :::

authors create fictional characters to whom we all can look up to and believe are perfect examples - superpowers and dizzying intellect aside. they are immune to the effects of petty jealousy, because we know they aren't real. they can endure the most minute scrutiny because the author can make them perfect.

we can live in those worlds for the short time we are reading about the or watching them - sharing their experiences and relating with their triumphs and their losse... but we have to come back to the real world...

maybe there are lessons we can really learn (and not that you can solve your problems with martial arts and guns) from these heroes, instead of forgetting very quickly to take away anything good because the heroes are imaginary and because what we experienced wasn't really real...

but if you felt something - doesn't that make it real?

::: ::: :::

I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night...