Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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There is a difference between playing the game and knowing how to play the game...
the difference being that those that know how to play the game and choose to play the game are either doing it because they have no choice or they love the game, [and my actual opinion of the person depends on which game] and those that play the game [unknowingly] do it because they are nothing more than the pawns of those that know how to play.
imagine a grandmaster playing chess against a person who simply knows the moves, except in some games, the players get entangled in an intricate web from which many cannot escape and either become spiders or flies...
those who do not know they are playing the game become the fodder for those that do.
now when I say pawns, I do not simply mean easily discarded persons, no no no...
I would say pawns like cattle... some you need to kill off right away...
and others...
well, you fatten them up before you slaughter them
and others, well, sometimes they stick around long enough to have an epiphany...
... ... ...
in any case, those that play because they love it are either very ambitious or very passionate - maybe even both - those that play because they must are probably very smart or very lazy - maybe even both...
because to play the game because you love it is a treasure in itself, but to play the game because you must is a burden. This burden is accepted because perhaps there is a reason to your participation. Perhaps it is selfless. Perhaps it is selfish. In any case, you may or may not have a knack, but for whatever reason - you are there.
Those who love the game my not even realize they are playing, because it is as natural as breathing.
Those to which the game is a burden, they might feel like they are waiting in line to just get on the field, or perhaps feel like they are on the sidelines hoping to get a chance to play.
so then if there are players, there are managers, and managers get paid; therefore, someone pays them.
Owners, they pay managers. Owners are slaves to materialism or to power...
there is a vicious cycle, and I do not know where it begins.
It might be ingrained into our genetic structure now, but whatever, it's there.
it is a fact that money is required.
let us just start at the beginning...
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" [Gen1:1]
okay... fast forward a bit...
man finds a stick and a rock. he breaks the rock to make a spearhead, makes a spear, and then someone gives him food for the spear, soon he is making spears for the whole tribe and is getting fat.
now, lets take this spear maker, and say that he has enough of whatever he needs, food, fur, wood, rocks, women, whatever... now let us suppose he doesn't need anything for a while...
does he stop making spears? when someone wants a spear, does he refuse?
when people start to depend on you as a resource and then they lose the skill to do things themselves, then what happens?
society dynamics changes, and certain people with certain skills are elevated. they are elevated because what they do effects the whole of the tribe or whatever.
does he then share his secret so that he might not be the only one?
fast forward to the future.
now, we have all these advances in technology, we can communicate across the globe instantly. we can process massive amounts of messages, images, data in seconds, and yet we still have to work long hours, and be away from our families.
why?
because if you can do more, then more will be expected from you. if the capabilities are there then they expect you to make that coin.
we want it all and we want it all now.
shouldn't there be a point where all of this slows down. Where we start to create for the art instead of for the pocket?
I want to be that.
I wish I could be that.
but unfortunately, I don't believe that I am.
I believe that I am one a wolf, with or without a pack. One of the sharks romaing the seas...
because I do want it all.
because I do want it now.
because, for some deluded reason, in my mind, once you have everything, you need nothing material, and therefore desire nothing material, and there for you can truly be what you want to be because there is no excuse for you to not.
there is nothing to keep you from searching for Jesus. (He is everywhere, by the way - but that's something you need to do on your own)
there is nothing to keep you from playing sports for fun, or creating art for art.
... ... ...
idyllic.
it could never happen. having everything. because even if you have everything material you need, once you create something that no one else creates, all of a sudden there is something that someone cannot have. unless man can learn to be content with the talents he has, assuming he knows about his talents.
what if you did know everything? what if you could do anything? limitless means, limitless time, limitless access.
what would you do with it?
if everyone knew everything that everyone else knew and could do everything that everyone else could, then what would we have?
we would have the borg.
moving as one for one goal, to assimilate everything.
and yet we want to be equal when we are behind and when we are equal we want to be better.
this is the cycle.
probably why they call it a race.
everyone wants to be included, yet everyone wants to be exceptional.
this is a very depressing view of life, because it does not leave room for those who are content.
and those who are content do not have to voice their contentedness. why would they? it's only cause would be to make all of the malcontent notice that they are not being envied, not making others jealous.
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Check your ego at the door, kiddo.
I say to myself...
You are not, by any means, perfect. You cannot judge others because you are not better than any one else, depsite what you might believe.
live what you know in your heart is true.
... ... ...
it's so hard to do what you know is right.
especially when everything else seems so much easier.
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so I play the game. I play because I have to. I play because I can. I play because maybe someone will notice me.
maybe someone will notice me in a sea of people looking to be noticed.
... ... ...
maybe what I do will make a difference in someone's life.
maybe what others do will make a difference in mine.
... ... ...
that's crazy talk.
crazy to think that hasn't already happend. that I haven't changed others and that others haven't changed me.
we are a social species.
every moment we interact with someone else is a moment we are building the blocks that will eventual build the stairs to change for the better or the wall of the box in which we have chosen to live.
I want to see what is at the top of the stairs...
and a box is not going to get me there.
