babiegoose.com

you know... there are those moments in life where you cringe when you live it, and you cringe everytime you relive it...

there are some things that a person must go through in order to understand why one must or must not do something or another.

no one is born with all of the knowledge of everything immediately at their disposal, it must be discovered through teachings and trials and errors...

so all those moments where I have been a complete ass, and then realized it later (trust me, I do realize it, and I do cringe when I think about it again) it just makes it that much easier to not do that same exact thing again.

some people just assume you know everything that they do (ahem, moi) so they take for granted that knowledge and actually expect that you are already on that same level. others just assume that everyone knows more than them so they lack the assertiveness one might consider necessary to facilitate learning and other such interaction. others just assume that they know more than everyone and then are overassertive, close-minded, overwhelming, and, sometimes, completely wrong.

I can't fault you for thinking that I am an insensitive idiot. In many cases, I am. All I can say in my defense is, the second I realize it, it will never happen again and I am all the better for it. But, if you hold that moment of stupidity against me, then you miss out on that which I can provide, and in turn, I miss out on what you can provide - and we all lose. Not just the two of us, but everyone - because that which we could create together can benefit everyone... Also, at least I am putting it out there. Although it can be frightening or silly or just plain dumb, I gain experience from my attempts. One learns much faster from applied practice than from reciting theory.

if you don't fall down, then you are not trying hard enough.

in order to succeed in the air, you must be able to succeed on the ground - you must walk first, you cannot jump into flying..

so I will continue to reminisce about those times that make me cringe, because it is good for me.

it keeps me in check.

you should pay no mind to doing something wrong the first time.

you should pay close attention to doing something wrong again and again.

apologies and

all... Read more.

I know you... I do.
I can see into your darkness.
I can see your soul.

you might think you can hide it,
but I know that it is there.

you know it is there.
deep, deep inside the shadow...
that is where I am.

I know your game very well,
but you cannot out play me.

I control the game.
my will is stronger than yours,
my darkness, deeper.

and I embrace the darkness,
while you simply deny yours.

you play in the light...
trying to ignore the dark,
hiding your shadow.

but the shadow controls you,
and you don't even know it

I play in the light
knowing where my shadow lies.
for I have balance.

it is the light that you fear,
because it will reveal all.

though I know myself,
I will not reveal myself.
you cannot see me.

to see the darkness in me
is to know that within you

to know your darkness
is to admit it is there.
to know you are wrong

you cannot be free from it
because it is part of us

but you run from it.
I am in control of it.
because it is mine.

is denial betrayal?
is control just arrogance?

I know you... i do.
because, now, I know myself
yet... I know nothing

where there is light, there is dark...
it is inevitable.

... ... ...

people have their comfort zone.

some people feel at home in a quiet library, where others would feel intimidated by it.

some can be perfectly comfortable working on a car, where others are completely mystified.

kind of like shopping... there are the stores in which you swim through like a fish, and there are the stores in which you have no clue as to how to even begin to look around. In the latter, even when you are looking, you really don't see anything because you are still trying to figure out what you are doing there.

I feel comfortable working on, physically or electronically, computers.
I like the puzzle that they are and that they can create.

I feel comfortable on the dance floor, crowded or otherwise. I like the beats and rhythm and melodies and harmonies that move me.

I feel comfortable at the movies, in a record shop, comic book store, video game stop. I like the escape from reality and the outpouring of imagination contained therein.

I feel at comfortable in meijer, target, sam's, costco, and home depot. I like that they can possibly provide me with all of my material needs, and sometimes in bulk.

I feel comfortable at my mom's house. I like that even though I no longer live there, it still feels like home.

I feel comfortable at my house. I like that lorie and I have a place of our own - to build up and to share, even though, lately, we haven't been able to spend time together.

I feel comfortable at church. I like the gathering of people together to share faith, hope, and love.

I feel comfortable with my friends. I like that we can take two or three minds to do absolutely nothing, but somehow, still enjoy the day much more thoroughly than if spent alone. Alternatively, I like the fact that I have backup in case stuff goes down... you know, because I live in such a dangerous area.

I feel comfortable with lorie. I like that she can round me out, take the edge off my potentially uncomfortable situations, and keep me in check when I should know better but decide worse.

I feel comfortable alone. I like that I don't need to be tactful around myself. brutal honesty, outpouring of thoughts and ideas, the chance to be uncompromising, and the comfort of not having to "flex" my "style" to work with theres. I work with people when I must, because sometimes it is totally easier and much more interesting, if not fun. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I just get too tired or impatient to have to worry about your feelings every second you are around me, because frankly, during those sometimes, I'm just trying to get through the day, despite your need to make you feel special, liked, or ok with yourself. [read: self-absorbed]

... ... ...

when you have people in their comfort zone, you can see their true nature. people are a little more patient and it is easier to communicate with them. people are more open-minded, although, with some, that might not be saying much. people drop their guard, if only a bit, and let things in and out that normally wouldn't fly.

people tell you their secrets, when they are comfortable.

people relax when they are comfortable.

some people say style before comfort...

I say comfort should be a part of style...

but if you are comfortable (and even stylish), that doesn't necessarily mean you are happy...

::: ::: :::

do not mistake comfort with happiness.

happiness and comfort are not mutually inclusive.

::: ::: :::

don't do it...