babiegoose.com

so... I'm a little nervous right now, because I'm not sure if I'm still going to houston...

long story short - there was some misunderstanding with my role and I'm not sure that I should or if I even want to tole anymore.

pro - I won't have to fly to texas every week
pro - I could potentially be unstaffed for a while until I find another project (meaning, paid to not do anything)
pro - I could possibly even hang out with lorie
pro - I could potentially be unstaffed for a while until I find another project (meaning, paid to not do anything)
pro - I will finally have time to do things in and around the house without having to balance trying to see everyone on the weekends

con - being unstaffed doesn't look good during review time
con - I would have to find another project - which can be a huge pain in the ass
con - I might have to go into the home office once in a while (but I'm going to avoid that as much as possible)
con - I feel bad because they are desperate for staff (but it just might not be a good fit)
con - I won't be able to go to lot 8 to get something for lorie from chloe (... sad... on many different levels)

so yeah - I'm nervous because I'm done with my current project this week - I want to know what my advisor is going to say, but he's busy until later tonight... and I just hate uncertainty...

bottom line - I don't think I want this project right now.

[updated]

not nervous anymore... my advisor just reassured me that I should take the role. he didn't use a manipulative tone or anything like that so I guess I have trust that he's trying to help me out...

... ... ...

bittersweet...
... ... ...

I guess I'm going to houston next week...

no more 4 day work weeks... 4 in houston, 1 at home... at least I can work from home... not like I do much on friday anyway.

at least I can probably work 8 or 9 hour days now... instead of having to kill myself to get 11 or 12 to justify my charging in 40 hours a week when not working on friday.

we'll see how that goes.

so... for the last year I've probably repeated the same exact routine everyday I had to work...

REM work_routine
10 BEGIN
20 a=1
30 a=a+1
6:30a - first alarm
6:40a - second alarm
6:45a - third alarm [why three alarms? the first is the clock radio next to my bed, the second is the tv, and 50 the third is the phone on the floor in front of the bathroom - to which I am slowly moving.] at this point I get ready for work...
7:30a - leave for the office
7:32a - bitch about traffic
7:50a - get to work
7:55a - check e-mail - every. single. account.
blah blah blah [translated: work]
8:15a - check e-mail
blah blah blah
8:30a - read blogs - everything on links page
blah blah blah
9a-ish - chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, plan where to go for lunch...
blah blah blah
[somewhere in here I google or wikipedia something because I thought of something or I needed to find out about something]
blah blah blah
11a - check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, confirm lunch...
blah blah blah
11:30a - lunch
12:45p - back to work, check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, talk about what happened at lunch...
blah blah blah
2p - afternoon trough, check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers about being sleepy, talk about making a coffee/ice cream run at 3p-ish
blah blah blah
2:15p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
2:20p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
2:25p - check e-mail, actually blog, bitch about how no one has updated their blog since this morning...
blah blah blah
2:30p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
3p - leave to get coffee or ice cream
3:30p - return to work, check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
4:30p - check e-mail, check blogs, chat
blah blah blah
5:30p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
6:30p - check e-mail, check blogs, chat about leaving
blah blah blah
7:00p - leave, get dinner, play games/watch movies/workout/watch tv/play poker, eat dinner
12-1a - go to sleep
1000 if a=3 goto 1020
1010 goto 30
1020 END

oh, and by the way - it only takes 2-3 minutes for me to go through all of the e-mails and blogs after the first time (which probably took 10 minutes)

as you can see [or not see] - I only have four more days left - three of the routine, which changes at 1pm where I leave ct [forever]...

somehow I feel like I'm leaving the breadbox for the fire...

if that makes any sense at all...

I am going to generalize here and say that everyone has a hankering for some really good bad [type of food] once in a while...

sure you know that almond chicken or sweet and sour pork isn't real chinese food... sure you know that olive garden, fazoli's, or chef boyardee isn't real italian... and of course you know that korean sushi place isn't really japanese.

pf changs, panda express, taco bell, noodles and co... they are not representative of the authentic cuisine of the culture they [loosely] represent...

but man, sometimes you just want it. regardless of its authenticity, the food still tastes good (of course that also depends on your mood and whether or not you had anything to drink) but whatever. I guess good fake food is better than crappy "authentic" food... there is the suspension of disbelief when you know the food you are getting is preprocessed and not to be mistaken for a home cooked meal. sure, there's way more sodium, trans-fat, saturated fat, calories, presevatives, etc... but who cares, because when it fills your belly, you feel happy.

I can't help it if my fast fix for rice comes in the form of fried rice and orange chicken from panda... it's fast, it's cheap, and it's really close to my apartment.

but man, do you get food coma afterwards..

... ... ...

11 fulls days, 8 work days until I'm out of ct...

I'm on cruise control until I bounce.

ok... so I finally beat that stupid battletech game. very anti-climactic. I've closed that chapter in my childhood, now I can get back to real life. I debated going onto battletech 2 - but I never came across it as a child. from what I understand, however, that seems to be the first real-time strategy game - the predecessor to command and conquer. I'm not sure when warcraft came out, but I thought it was after c&c. so that's neat, but in the five minutes I looked online, I couldn't find a place to download it [at least from work] :-P so I'm giving up that ghost, and I will complete ffvii... ugh. I'm such a dork.

I won't see lorie again for a year because she's leaving me on wednesday. so that really sucks. [not really a year, but you get the idea]... i guess that can justify me not doing anything all weekend while she's gone. when I play video games, I think the rest of my body goes into stasis and all of a sudden it's time to go back to work. [sarcasm] how awesome is that? [/sarcasm]

based on the tivo traffic from the last week or so, it looks like I should be able to get through most of the queue in the morning this friday. veronica mars looks promising this season, as does lost, and heroes. didn't get to watch battlestar yet, can't believe I didn't watch it this weekend. supernatural and ncis are cool too. smallville is starting to wear thin on me as of late, but I'll still watch it. I've made it this far, I'll watch it until they cancel it (probably this season or next, I'm guessing) I don't think it's jumped the shark, but it's getting close - they still manage to pull a good number of episodes out of their... um... hats.

today is columbus day. in celebration of the man who stumbled into the "new" continent thinking he had reached asia (he believed this until he died) but did, in fact, open up trade routes from europe to the americas. columbus' calculations were faulty, but luckily for him, the ocean didn't stretch uninterrupted from europe to asia... it really doesn't matter that there were others that reached the amierca's prior to him, they made little to no impact on the future, but let us not forget the diseases and pests that were brought over from europe, or the enslavement or displacement or destruction of entire indigenous cultures. without that, we wouldn't be where we are today... of course without the dark ages, we probably would be farther than we are today... but what's a little inquisition now and again? besides, nowadays, we seem to be moving in the other direction, all science, no faith... but that's a completely different subject for another time... so everyone raise your glass to columbus, because without him, we probably would be living very different lives, if we even would have existed at all... a lot can happen in 600 years...

but I'm just guessing about that.

ok... seriously people. I get spouts of boredom during the work day, because I really can handle all the work they give me in about a quarter of the time they give me to do it...

so all I have are a handful of sites which I can actually peruse due to the firewall provided by my client. blogs - which don't belong to myspace, just happen to be some of the places I can visit without blatantly misuing client resources.

so here's the thing. please blog everyday and blog often, because I am bored and I don't want to have to go out and find other blogs, because I just don't feel like adding links to the link page, plus it's different when you are reading someone you don't really know unless they are very witty or funny, but I don't want to go through the trouble of finding them... if you know of sites like that then please tell me, because I need something to do that looks semi-productive.

I laugh as I post this, because in about three weeks, I will probably be so busy that I won't be able to blog or even read blogs, so how's that for irony.