babiegoose.com

started my second day... already getting to work... I like that... I also like that due to the hour time difference, I can get up earlier without breaking a sweat... plus I don't have to kill myself trying to get in the office in the morning... the hotel is niiiice... a jw - plust I get access to the concierge lounge so double plus. the bed are waaaay comfy. no free internet access though, so boo. plus - I don't have an official cube yet, so I'm floating around trying to find a good spot with an internet connection. oh, and my supervisees aren't idiots, so that's another plus... a little scary that I understand my job right off... I hope I'm not an idiot... but I very well could be. if I am, I hope no one finds out- ;-)

I had one on this morning because it is cold in michigan.

it was very chilly at 4am and I need to turn the heat in the car up all the way.

I slept the whole flight. except for the 5 minutes it took to eat the cereal they gave me.

I wake up and we are already pulling into the gate at bush intl.

the dude with the orange sticks... he's wearing shorts and short sleeves.

... ... ...

high today - low-80's...

... ... ...

good thing I ironed my shirt under my sweater.

:-P

strange when you think about it... which is probably why I don't think about it.

in the last year, I have spent more time sitting in my chair working on a computer than I have collectively spent with my wife, my family, my friends.

I have spent more time with my co-workers than I have collectively spent with my wife, my family, my friends.

I have become friends with my co-workers, but they will always be co-workers to me. I have always made it (whether subconcious or not) a habit to never really connect on too deep a level with people I have gone to school with or people that I work with. of course I had friends in school and at work, but only a small handful have really made it through graduations and through relocations. many of my good friends I met during school or work, but almost never at my school or work...

so when I think about my priorities, what should I really be thinking about?

I think that the time spent when you are together is very important. the time together doesn't have to be deep and profound and epiphanies don't need to be made... all that matters is that you cherish the time you have when you are together. that you appreciate the love and friendship you have available to you.

that's what I live for.

I live for the moments when I can just be with lorie, no matter what... if I have to go with her and sit while she is getting her hair done, or if I have to endure walking through grocery stores or even help cook [gasp]! I love every one of those moments. when we sit there and watch tv together - even if it is general hospital or gilmore girls - I'm just glad to be with her. it's not often you find someone that you just want to give your life to... someone to love and someone that all you want is for them to be happy...

sigh...

when I say I miss her I think that would be the understatement of the century.

when I say I love her, if love were a grain of sand, my love would be a thousand beaches...

so when I say I wish I could spend more time with her...

you have an inkling...

short funny jokes
short funny or cute anecdotes
pictures
videos

those are the blogs that many people want to read. I know for a fact that if the blog scrolls, even a little, it gets glossed over or skipped. Not in my case, mind you, but in many cases...

you know who you are. ;-P

not that it's the intention of the writer to have every syllable read... oh, no, wait... that is the intention... nevermind.

of course, if you are in a hurry or if you just aren't motivated or too busy, reading an entire three or four paragraphs is too taxing... after all, most news article are only read to the point where they make you play choose your own adventure with the new paper. at that point, you are just looking for a quick blurb to get your through the next 4 hours or until you decide you need another break.

btw - dd puts too much sugar in their chai. but I'm addicted to sugar, so I guess it's not a bad thing...

if you are going to read blogs. read them. when youskim over books, you do not get the full experience, for many authors are very clever and put subtle nuances that get missed when you only read the first and last line of the a paragraph and everything in bold, quotes, or italics. the little jokes or the revealing character flaws or plot points.

those are the things that makes book ready worthy and re-read over and over and over.

but then again, I am a victim of the desire to read character development... having a connection with the character in the book because connecting with people is not something that comes easy to me... especially lately.

and in a totally unrelated quote.

"when you build a place for things, things come..." ~ Clamp, Gremlins 2

did you know that your fillings can get old?

didn't know that. I have to get mine replaced from, oh so many, years ago... I remember when I first got my fillings in... probably too much candy and not enough brushing.

I'm goig to be getting them replaced with the ceramic ones I think, so you can't really even tell that they are there...

crazy hunh?

maybe one day, I'll get all my teeth fixed, and I'll be a real boy!

gotcha.

a classic movie in my mind, which I haven't seen since I was in thrid grade. it was probably very much too much for me to see at that age, but nevertheless I remember quite a lot of the movie and probably a lot of the lines from it.

in any case, in the beginning, there were people playing a game where they had to tag everyone with what I vaugely remember being a paintball handgun. probably nothing near as powerful as the markers of today... rather large but mostly concealable...

they were give a list of people who they were required to "hit" other players of the game or maybe designated targets that would report back to some governing authority. in any case, anthony edwards (ER) was the top dog, so to speak and was popping people lef tand right... a trip to europe turned him into a reluctant spy, adventure ensues...

which got me thinking, well, actually it's probably something I always wanted to do (I'm not sure how telling this is, but you're just going to have to trust that I'm not a psycho) was to do a "hit" but not really kill anyone.

long range, close range, remote, blah blah... probably why I like paintball so much - all of the rush but none of the death. well, maybe not all of the rush, because I have no idea, nor do I wish to know, what it feels like to be in a life or death situation.

I try to imagine sometimes, but I get too creeped out and thing about bunnies and other happy things...

but whatever - I think I'm going to go around the office with post-its with "gotcha" written on them and stick them on the backs of co-workers.

basically, I will continue until I get caught and then tally my score.

if someone figures out the game and hits me back, then the game ends as well and my tally stops there.

I figured post-its are much safer than paintballs or airsoft, but it probably won't satisfy my desire to peg someone from a distance... I guess I have to wait until we play sniperstrike next time we play paintball...

anyone want to play "pretend assassins" with me?

I'll make up dossiers and backgrounds on intended targets and methods of "execution"

I think the best we can probably do is post-it them or maybe booby trap their door with the pull snaps or hit them with throw snaps. sort of like mafia - but more action. and you can't get caught either. maybe we throw in a detective... maybe we don't...

if I say paintballs or plastic bb's, I'm pretty sure people will judge me much more than they are now. well, that and no one would want to play...

... ... ...

don't judge me.

you know you want to play too.

post-it notes
pull snaps
throw snaps

and maybe some hot peppers. :-P

there is a "10-year" rule for those considered the tops in any field.

10 years of hardwork,deliberate practice...

according to this article
which is probably from a few days ago... a world-class virtuoso will have practiced 10,000 hours in his or her lifetime.

if you break 10,000 hours into 10 years (obviously not a lifetime) you will have something like 2.5 hours a day, every day...

but it requires deliberate practice (observing and constantly adjusting and fixing mistakes) not just pounding away at the piano or swinging a golf club a thousand times with no real technique.

...

so, if I were to just practice playing the piano, with a really good teacher mind you, since I graduated highschool then I could probably be a concert pianist right now.

the article goes on to talk about how certain people "stop learning" and how others continue to learn... something to do with drive and proper practicing technique...

i've repeated myself.

anyhow, I wonder if it would be possible to be a world class geek... I probably have more than enough practice at that.

actually... scratch that. I am a world class geek - the trick now is to find someone to pay me for being one.

so for all of those people who are you think are talented - they are not natural born - they are raised...

it gives me hope... one day, I can still possibly be a ballerina! :-P

so... I'm a little nervous right now, because I'm not sure if I'm still going to houston...

long story short - there was some misunderstanding with my role and I'm not sure that I should or if I even want to tole anymore.

pro - I won't have to fly to texas every week
pro - I could potentially be unstaffed for a while until I find another project (meaning, paid to not do anything)
pro - I could possibly even hang out with lorie
pro - I could potentially be unstaffed for a while until I find another project (meaning, paid to not do anything)
pro - I will finally have time to do things in and around the house without having to balance trying to see everyone on the weekends

con - being unstaffed doesn't look good during review time
con - I would have to find another project - which can be a huge pain in the ass
con - I might have to go into the home office once in a while (but I'm going to avoid that as much as possible)
con - I feel bad because they are desperate for staff (but it just might not be a good fit)
con - I won't be able to go to lot 8 to get something for lorie from chloe (... sad... on many different levels)

so yeah - I'm nervous because I'm done with my current project this week - I want to know what my advisor is going to say, but he's busy until later tonight... and I just hate uncertainty...

bottom line - I don't think I want this project right now.

[updated]

not nervous anymore... my advisor just reassured me that I should take the role. he didn't use a manipulative tone or anything like that so I guess I have trust that he's trying to help me out...

... ... ...

bittersweet...
... ... ...

I guess I'm going to houston next week...

no more 4 day work weeks... 4 in houston, 1 at home... at least I can work from home... not like I do much on friday anyway.

at least I can probably work 8 or 9 hour days now... instead of having to kill myself to get 11 or 12 to justify my charging in 40 hours a week when not working on friday.

we'll see how that goes.

so... for the last year I've probably repeated the same exact routine everyday I had to work...

REM work_routine
10 BEGIN
20 a=1
30 a=a+1
6:30a - first alarm
6:40a - second alarm
6:45a - third alarm [why three alarms? the first is the clock radio next to my bed, the second is the tv, and 50 the third is the phone on the floor in front of the bathroom - to which I am slowly moving.] at this point I get ready for work...
7:30a - leave for the office
7:32a - bitch about traffic
7:50a - get to work
7:55a - check e-mail - every. single. account.
blah blah blah [translated: work]
8:15a - check e-mail
blah blah blah
8:30a - read blogs - everything on links page
blah blah blah
9a-ish - chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, plan where to go for lunch...
blah blah blah
[somewhere in here I google or wikipedia something because I thought of something or I needed to find out about something]
blah blah blah
11a - check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, confirm lunch...
blah blah blah
11:30a - lunch
12:45p - back to work, check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers, complain about work, about other co-workers, talk about a couple of work things, talk about what happened at lunch...
blah blah blah
2p - afternoon trough, check e-mail, check blogs, chat with co-workers about being sleepy, talk about making a coffee/ice cream run at 3p-ish
blah blah blah
2:15p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
2:20p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
2:25p - check e-mail, actually blog, bitch about how no one has updated their blog since this morning...
blah blah blah
2:30p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
3p - leave to get coffee or ice cream
3:30p - return to work, check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
4:30p - check e-mail, check blogs, chat
blah blah blah
5:30p - check e-mail, check blogs
blah blah blah
6:30p - check e-mail, check blogs, chat about leaving
blah blah blah
7:00p - leave, get dinner, play games/watch movies/workout/watch tv/play poker, eat dinner
12-1a - go to sleep
1000 if a=3 goto 1020
1010 goto 30
1020 END

oh, and by the way - it only takes 2-3 minutes for me to go through all of the e-mails and blogs after the first time (which probably took 10 minutes)

as you can see [or not see] - I only have four more days left - three of the routine, which changes at 1pm where I leave ct [forever]...

somehow I feel like I'm leaving the breadbox for the fire...

if that makes any sense at all...

so, whilst searching for entourage bittorrents I found click. the adam sandler movie with kate beckinsale [hot]... anyhow, it's basically the family man, but instead of seeing how life would be if he wasn't successful, he saw what his life would be when he was successful... by using a remote control... so basically his life sucked.

basically, every time there was a conflict between home and work, work won.

it's the same story told in many different ways... a Christmas carol, the family man, scrooged, 13 going on 30, multiplicity, regarding henry, fast and furious, amidst many more...

anyhow, bottom line is, work over family equals sucky life with no family.

it got me thinking...

I really hope that doesn't become me. right now, I don't really have that particular choice, per se, but I know that it's looming.

one of the buzz phrases in corporate america is "work-life balance" they talk about it because they need to convince people that it is an option... in some cases it actually is viable, but not if you are looking to be a big cheese (or at least, I've never seen it)

I'm not looking to be big cheese. I don't want that kind of responsibility or that kind of pressure.

even if you wanted to change, it's really not an easy step - you have to make really hard decisions - but most importantly, you need to know into what you want to change.

wanting change is one things, but knowing what you want is another, then, even further, the process of actually changing.

I do what I continue to do because what I do is amorphous. it changes all the time, thus sort of fulfilling the need of change...

sort of...

it isn't real change... although what I do "changes" all the time - what I do doesn't really change. it just has the appearance of change. new city, new client, new project, different type of work... but in the end, it's the same thing.

it doesn't help that I'm lazy... it also doesn't help that I am "comfortable" doing what I am doing... I complain about it, but in that complaining, there is a weird sort of comfort... kind of the cross to bear that I gladly show the world, to hide the crosses that I bear that I want to keep secret...

I think my mind is too limited for change - for big change... but for some reason, I always move towards it...

but with change comes uncertainty, and that's not comfortable and not being comfortable is something we all try to avoid... (ironic because sometimes when I joke, much of what I joke about is an attempt to make people feel just a little uncomfortable - just a little - but there is the whole going to far thing, but that's a story for another time)

really, all I know is that when it comes down to that decision... whether it is work or life... whether the scales must be tipped in a certain direction...

I hope I am concious enough to choose life... to choose family...

the scary thing is... I'm not sure that I'm that strong.

... ... ...

maybe it's like jumping into a pool - but blind... just dive in, get the initial splash over with, and then after the initial shock of being submerged, you find that you are in a nice, clean, heated pool... the fear is that after the shock, you find you are in icy, shark-infested waters instead and that's what keeps you from the plunge...

... ... ...

I need a reassuring voice to help me through... I don't think I'm a true leader, yet I am not content with being a mere follower either...

[sigh] the hedgehog's dilemna...

dude.

heroes is a GREAT show. don't know why I like it so much. maybe because it's GREAT?

I could spoil it for you, but I won't because you should probably just watch it.

because it's GREAT.

I hope it finishes like it started... GREAT.

hahaha... I'm watching it right now, so I'm having trouble thinking about what to type.

I'm gonna stop now. so I can watch.

I'm holding on for a hero til the morning light...

there are just some people that get on your nerves... don't know what it is... maybe they exude phermones that are not in line with you, but whatever - they just bother you.

some people you just love right away - something about them just clicks with you - and usually vice versa... some people you are ambivalent about, so you either persue it or you just choose not to care...

but man, some people just rub you the wrong way and just keep on churning. truthfully, there is some give and take here... some people that I didn't like at first ended up being ok... but usually some people I didn't like at first stayed that way because I radiated my dislike, which they picked up on, or they felt the same and we completely just pushed away (I was going to say polar opposites, but if you think about it, those tend to attract while similar poles tend to repel - in either case, there is some deep thoughts swimming around about the whole parallel of personalities and physics, but that's a whole other blog)

I don't think there has ever been a person that I just felt I didn't like at first that has ever become a close friend, but who knows... I sometimes forget people until I see them again, and then I remember a whole bunch of random things about them, but the point was that I don't have everyone I've ever met floating on the surface of my memory. actually, if I don't remember them immediately, then it's probably safe to say that they were never all that close, so yeah - if I didn't like you right away then you are probably not a close friend...

oh. unless I don't remember that I didn't like you.

whatever... if you aren't a close friend and I didn't like you when I first met you, then it's probably for my lack of trying, or worse - my exacerbation of the already strained relationship - because I can be a real d!@% sometimes.

or a lot of times, depending on my mood and how much I don't like you...

I can't place it... maybe it's attitude, maybe you are the complete embodiment of everything that I hate about myself and you just remind me... maybe you are a characature of everything I hate about myself, so I'm not nearly as bad as the traits I see in you, but because you reveal myself to me and I probably am not ready to face that about me, the anger I feel toward myself is displace onto you.

or...

maybe I resent you because you are everything that I want to be and I am jealous because in my eyes you have achieved what I can only hope for, but little do I know that you have your own problems which are probably as significant to you as my problems are to me...

but the latter rarely happens because I'm too egotistical to think anyone is better than me...

... ... ...

I told you I can be a d!@%...

... ... ...

whatever the reason, it is probably best that we limit our time together, because I will probably deflate your ego, your self-esteem, and your pride, with quick witted, hurtful, and thoughtless words, designed to make others laugh, and so I can revel in my schadenfreude...

... ... ...

oh man... how depressing is my view of myself?

seriously though - I'm not as bad as I was in college... and certainly not as bad as I was in highschool...

... ... ...

so. to everyone that I didn't like at first.

sorry. you can't be friends with everyone. I don't have time to hear your life story. and some people are just boring.

to be fair. not everyone wants me for a friend. they don't care about my story. and I might be just as equally or more boring to them as I they might be to me.

if that isn't the case, then I am probably way too intense for them (I am way too intense for a lot of people) - even people that [reluctantly] like me think I am too intense...

and they know me...

... ... ...

people can change, but I'm not sure that I can change that drastically...

... ... ...

if you give me a job where I have to be around a lot of people all of the time, I bet you'd see me being quieter amidst a number of friends...

the fact is, I sit in front of a computer all day, begging to find something that can hold my attention for more than 15 minutes at a time without being completely and utterly blatant about not having harder work to do.

... ... ...

so I blog... by this time today, I will have read over every blog linked on the links page 5 times over. I am almost able to repeat from memory the first line or title of every blog on that list because they haven't changed in a few weeks.

... ... ...

I'm hungry.

... ... ...

sometimes I think that many of my entries are repeating some of my previous entries. it's possible - considering that most of my entries revolve around the biggest problems I have right now... not being able to see people I really want to see, not being home, and not being busy...

... ... ...

*so as to not dwell on the negative side of this whole things... about the people with whom I click with, or like immediately (or close to)... maybe it's because the shared (as in you had one and I had one, but not the same one) life experiences allow for a connection on a deeper level... maybe it's biological, and the person could be completely not even close to your wavelength but the elusive phermones create an attraction... maybe it's because the person is so darn nice without being overly sweet and overly concerned that they aren't creepy or invasive, that even if you thought you didn't like them they ended up growing on you (they would have probably been thrown into my "ambivalent about" group) and quickly joined the ranks of the "i like you" group... also, please note, that you can probably like someone right away and just not know that you do, and it might actually take years for it to develop into a friendship... I don't know how that works, but it does, you were less ambivalent and more apathetic about them, but you weren't turned off by them, and then they eventually just became good friends.

and then there are those cases where everything totally clicks and falls into place and you think you are rushing it, but then it turns into a 7 years of exclusivity and two years of permanent exclusivity (amongst other religious and legal ramifications)... she's working right now...

(I love you, goose! I miss you, too!) Read more.

I google the world.

I google everything - I'm not sure if you knew but you can google earth.

oh, you knew that?

did you know you can google mars and the moon?

I already mentioned google books...

and just so it's out there... because I'm not sure that it's common knowledge, nor am I aware of any formal documentation of it... but just so you know.

When searching in google - most people enter the text for which they are looking. For example:

lorie ryan

the above implies looking for documents (html pages are documents) that have lorie and ryan somewhere relatively close together.

exact phrase searching:

"lorie and ryan"

that will only return documents that have the phrase as you typed it exactly with no exclusions, so if you don't want a million pages returned and you know that those words will be right next to each other - use it.

the OR search - really it should be self-explanatory, but I will just say for who don't have time to think about it. it will return either search parameter, regardless if the other one is present or not.

ryan OR lorie

I only use that when in conjuction with exact phrases, because otherwise it would be pointless...

now, if you want to exclude certain words (like to get rid of unwanted and inappropriate sites you can do the following

ryan -evil

the first term is what you want, the one following the "-" is what you don't. simple.

also ther eis the site searech... you can choose to look is a specfic site:

"ryan and lorie" site:babiegoose.com

it will look form the search string in the indicated website... I use it a lot with imdb.com and wikipedia.org...

to get tricky you can look for links to web pages... say you want to find sites that link you... do this:

link:www.babiegoose.com 

if you want to see the lasted cached version of the site (so if you go offline, this is what you would probably be able to pull up)

cache:www.babiegoose.com ryan

of course, I almost never use that, but you might... say if you lost all of your data from a page and you can pull a cached version to recover something - hopefully... of course if you cleared your cache, then there will probably not be anything there...

the following are like the exact phrase and exclusion, except they are for document types - some other document types php, html, htm... you get the idea

lorie filetype:doc OR filetype:pdf

lorie -filetype:doc 

lorie -filetype:pdf

and the following will give you some of the same info as what is above... just more concise and specific to whatever address you give it...

info:www.babiegoose.com 

I am not a representative nor do I endorse google... I am not getting paid, I just prefer this search engine over others... google. wikipedia. imdb. if I don't hit all of those at least once in the day, then I'm not at work. :-P

I also prefer SUV's to cars, snowboarding to skiing, in-line skating to skateboarding, paintball to basketball, pepsi to coke, ice cream to gelatto or yogurt or custard, fall to summer, full moon to any other phase...

and I prefer being happy.

it's all good...

uh, and if you don't know, now you know...

I hadn't heard anything in a few weeks, but they just told me that I am really going to houston...

although it's two weeks out, I still don't have the logistics... flights, apartments or hotel, etc...

since there will be a number of people starting with me, they wanted to do some mass e-mail with all the info. efficiency. phooey.

plus. warm weather for the winter - good while I have to work through (I'm guessing) 12 hour days - hopefully I won't have to work on fridays, because these three day weeks that I've had for the last year.

that was sweet.

but all good things come to an end (how completely morbid is that? so everything that is good must die? I don't believe that, so I guess that just nullifies my previous statement, but who cares. I can do what I want here)

so anyway. I'm wondering if I'll be prone to getting sick, due to the changes in climate from texas to michigan? I wonder if a lot of people have a weekly commute to houston. you'd think there wouldn't be, but I would have thought the same thing about connecticut.

who'da thunk it?

after reading eric's blog, I've decided to get a vanilla chai and a boston kreme from dunkin donuts.

man, I'm gonna get so fat.

... ... ...

everything I have to do today is either running or is out until someone gets back to me. so it's not like I'm slacking off. if I'm gone when they get back to me, they can deal for the 10 minutes I'm not at my desk.

... ... ...

how sad is it that it's only tuesday and I'm looking forward to thursday, if only because I get to leave...

it's actually sadder that I thought about leaving on thursday on monday.

actually... what's saddest is that I'm complaining about a 3 1/2 day work week. granted I do have to leave sunday night, but seriously? if it were shorter I would be complaining that I have to work at all...

hmmm... so what would I do if I didn't have to work? I might have read it online or it might have come from kill bill, but I guess retirement is the biggest killer of the elderly... when you have a job to go to you tend to stick around for it... how poignant.

so if I stopped working, does that mean I'm dead?

I'd probably do absolutely nothing for a few weeks.

literally, nothing. I would flood myself with TV and video games until I get totally sick of them (trust me, it's happened before) then I would make sure that there are absolutely no good books (because it doesn't matter if they are good or not) around for me to read that I haven't read or that I really liked that I would read again... because I would probably read every book in sight.

then I would probably start doing stuff around the house. like that cleaning thing. I should probably clean the house because it's usually a pit. (actually, it's not so bad, considering that lorie and I cleaned up a couple weeks ago... but I just like to whine about having to clean) and I should probably fix all the broken things around the house. like my playstation... well, maybe not that. but things. I've been meaning to put one of the hammocks up in the florida room, but I can't decide where to put it, plus the florida room is the unoffical official poker room.

but that's just a dream.

no one is going to pay me to not do anything. but if you guys here of someone that's hiring someone to not do anything, remember...

I got dibs.

[ha ha! i called it :-P]

I am going to generalize here and say that everyone has a hankering for some really good bad [type of food] once in a while...

sure you know that almond chicken or sweet and sour pork isn't real chinese food... sure you know that olive garden, fazoli's, or chef boyardee isn't real italian... and of course you know that korean sushi place isn't really japanese.

pf changs, panda express, taco bell, noodles and co... they are not representative of the authentic cuisine of the culture they [loosely] represent...

but man, sometimes you just want it. regardless of its authenticity, the food still tastes good (of course that also depends on your mood and whether or not you had anything to drink) but whatever. I guess good fake food is better than crappy "authentic" food... there is the suspension of disbelief when you know the food you are getting is preprocessed and not to be mistaken for a home cooked meal. sure, there's way more sodium, trans-fat, saturated fat, calories, presevatives, etc... but who cares, because when it fills your belly, you feel happy.

I can't help it if my fast fix for rice comes in the form of fried rice and orange chicken from panda... it's fast, it's cheap, and it's really close to my apartment.

but man, do you get food coma afterwards..

... ... ...

11 fulls days, 8 work days until I'm out of ct...

I'm on cruise control until I bounce.

wireless is one of the greatest innovations of all time. starting with the radio, broadcasting audio all over the world, to the infrared remote controls, to mobile phones, bluetooth, and wireless networking. wireless has many postive attributes, like freedom of movement, no wires to plug and tangle, physical space, and increasing the number of resources able to use an internet access point. there are zero negative attributes, if you ignore set-up, security, cost, as well as the potential for anything to happen with all that data being zipped around through the air.

I love wireless. i can have one point in my house to allow any number of computers or mobile devices to use my broadband connection. of course, it is not as easy as plugging in a cable and being set to go, but I believe that the setup time is worth the wait. i can move from room to room to show lorie or whoever what I am looking at online. I can even go outside of the house and surf the web on the lawn if I so desire. (btw - the internet and the web are not synonymous - the internet is the physical manifistation of all of the computers and servers and what not, the web is the actual content, so you can say that you use the internet to access the web, and you use you computer to interface with the internet - though technically your computer actually becomes part of the internet)

now that I have broken the fourth wall of my little 6th grade essay I was trying to write, I will no longer go back (as shakespeare did with taming of the shrew, but the other way)

I just set up the tivo with wireless, and I was able to remove, or lessen rather, the rats nest of wires in the media closet. if only one did not need so many wires to connect the tv to the tivo and the dvd player and the stereo and the game systems. ah, how wonderful life would be.

of course, if that's all you need to make life wonderful, then I am truly envious of you, I guess you could say that in my case it would be on less thing I could worry about... like when forrest bought into apple and then never had to worry about money ever again. like he said, "One less thing!" what a blessed and tragic life that man leads...

he is, obviously, fiction, so I guess that's all I have to say about that.

now, we just have to get a phone table that can possibly fit the printer/fax/scanner next to the piano, and we'll be all set...

I just have to wait for my new laptop from work before I check lorie's previous searches from earlier this week.

I was up all night moving stuff from my work computer to my pc. whilst cleaning out my pc. I call it darksteeltower, because it's a big charcoal colored server. 400gb of storage. I wanted to get to a terabyte, but that would mean I would have to get ride of my older hard drives and drop several 250 gb drives in their place. I don't have enough space to add anymore, and even if I did, the power source wouldn't be able to handle it, not to mention I'm out of available plugs inside the box.

now if the could only make the inside of computers completely wireless and easily customizable (without that last caveat, I would have been at a loss, considering there are almost no wires in laptops) then that would be cool.

but it certainly wouldn't make life all that greater. just fairer.

do I have to tell you...

people will take advanatage of you. usually they will be the people with far fewer scruples, probably be opportunistic, desperate, and/or just enjoy laughing at others misfortune... [tanin no fukou wa mitsu no aji]

that is why, girls (or anyone for that matter) should never drink a drink they didn't see poured (although it's a little harder when you are in a restaurant, but that's a crap shoot anyway :-P) because you never know who might have dropped a ghb or whatever into your drink. also guy shouldn't follow attractive girls into motel rooms or take drugs with girls they don't know, because they might end up in a bathtub full of ice with a tube sticking out their back minus two kidneys.

and you shouldn't stick your hand or arm out the window or it will get cut off.

and don't go in the attic because there is a mumo.

I have such a positive out look on life... :-P

given that, I've decided to stop watching the news, because it's just too depressing, especially when all they report is criminal acts, gossip, and sensational stories that have no real bearing on life in my world. weather, traffic, maybe a little bit of politics and government - maybe, warnings about x or y because it is relevant and more positive stories, but nothing too cheesy, advancement in medical science, physics, astronomy, whatever... holy crap. I'm a geek.

but whatever... I was dd last night [rare occurence]. I think I might offer to be dd more often, because I never knew how much fun it was to watch the drunk fool...

probably because I'm usually that drunk fool... (sometimes, I don't even have to be drinking to be that... but then that would just make me a fool)... but now that I'm getting older, I find myself being too weary to be that anymore.

::: ::: :::

I'm thinking about picking up rosetta stones for tagalog, vietnamese, and japanese...

to refresh my kana I found http://www.kanjisite.com/ - this is purely my reference...

if I like those and learn them well, I will probably go to the romantic languages and then to chinese and arabic... but that just seems really ambitious.

polls are neat.

they tell you what a certain subsection of the population thinks. with proper sampling, you can even get a good idea about an entire neighborhood or city.

in the wrong hands, polls can be devestating. they can skew topics and their results can be taken out of context.

but regardless of how polls reports return, I think people should redefine what they are actually going report from polls.

the best video game of all-time. seriously folks, you need to have a huge population from which to sample in order to even come close to naming a game "the best of all-time" - plus, you really should even use that title, because in a year or so, another game can possibly blow that game out of the water... it whould be called "the best game until now" which is probably what they meant by best game of all time.

some games listed as the best of all-time: final fantasty vii, the legend of zelda: the ocarina of time, super mario 64, super mario brothers, super mario brothers 3, doom, the legend of zelda, the sims, the sims 2, resident evil 4, halo, halo 2, soul caliber, golden eye 007, half-life, and half-life 2...

imho - the legend of zelda series is the best. ever I think I would but resident evil and the super mario series right after. as for the best game. ever? - I have to say final fantasy vii. it was way ahead of its time, limited by technology, plus the story line and character development was and still is superb. it was rekindled by the advent children movie and the fact that it has been almost 10 years since it's release and I'm still willing to play it says a lot. it's like playing a graphic novel... sure it's not as flashy as some of the newer games, and the controls aren't all that complex, but it is a hell of a game.

call me crazy. of course, this is a guy who really doesn't like sports games, reads a ridiculous number of books, and watches too much tv. but my opinion is my opinion...

of course, the legend of zelda: twilight princess has yet to be released and it looks sweet.

yeah. I'm a dork.

what do you think the best video game ever is?

you may not know this, but as a chem e. I had to work in a plant and I learned about the many different kinds of valves

ballvalves, check valves, choke valves, gate valves, butterfly valves...

they use different valves for different purposes. some are for strictly on and off, some are for flow control, some for solids, some for liquids, some for gas... two way and three way valves... there are even those that stop reverse flow and others that use freezing to stop flow...

crazy hunh?

personalities are very widespread, yet we can narrow most people to one of 16 personality types (using the MBTI)

anyway, back to my point, I think that personalities are a lot like valves...

some can't control the flow - so it's all or nothing for them... some are stuck so all you get is a trickle...
some leak, so you will always get something, even when you don't want anything
some freeze, some just go everywhere, some can't make decisions...

you get the picture.

where was I going with this?

... ... ...

good question.

where was I going with this?

I was going to make some kind of correlation between different kinds of valves and personalities, but I don't know enough different valves to cover the 16 mbti types. plus, after a bit of research, the mbti types are almost like horoscopes - they are vague enough that they will fit whatever personality type you think you want, plus the people that invented the tests aren't even psychologists and the results from them are questionable. you also really can't do a double blind, because how the hell do you know what a person is thinking? you don't, you can only ask them and hope they aren't lying.

people don't need therapists because they want to get help, they see therapists to validate themselves, to get permission to do the things they think they want to do.

here's the clincher. you have a choice. one or the other or another.

you pick one and then you live with the consequences. don't hem and haw about it.

just go.

if you don't you will be stuck in a rut for the rest of your life.

but that's the problem, isn't it.

consequences.

people are afraid to live with the aftermath of their decisions. I don't blame them, I'm scared as hell to make decisions that will change the life to which I have become accustomed. we want things in a neat little package with all of the answers all wrapped up and waiting to be opened. the problem is, there will never be that package, that package does not exist. there is no easy way.

"life isn't fair. it's just fairer than death, that's all." ~ goldman, the princess bride

so open up your valve before you permanently rupture and destroy your life line.

peace outside.

ok... so I finally beat that stupid battletech game. very anti-climactic. I've closed that chapter in my childhood, now I can get back to real life. I debated going onto battletech 2 - but I never came across it as a child. from what I understand, however, that seems to be the first real-time strategy game - the predecessor to command and conquer. I'm not sure when warcraft came out, but I thought it was after c&c. so that's neat, but in the five minutes I looked online, I couldn't find a place to download it [at least from work] :-P so I'm giving up that ghost, and I will complete ffvii... ugh. I'm such a dork.

I won't see lorie again for a year because she's leaving me on wednesday. so that really sucks. [not really a year, but you get the idea]... i guess that can justify me not doing anything all weekend while she's gone. when I play video games, I think the rest of my body goes into stasis and all of a sudden it's time to go back to work. [sarcasm] how awesome is that? [/sarcasm]

based on the tivo traffic from the last week or so, it looks like I should be able to get through most of the queue in the morning this friday. veronica mars looks promising this season, as does lost, and heroes. didn't get to watch battlestar yet, can't believe I didn't watch it this weekend. supernatural and ncis are cool too. smallville is starting to wear thin on me as of late, but I'll still watch it. I've made it this far, I'll watch it until they cancel it (probably this season or next, I'm guessing) I don't think it's jumped the shark, but it's getting close - they still manage to pull a good number of episodes out of their... um... hats.

today is columbus day. in celebration of the man who stumbled into the "new" continent thinking he had reached asia (he believed this until he died) but did, in fact, open up trade routes from europe to the americas. columbus' calculations were faulty, but luckily for him, the ocean didn't stretch uninterrupted from europe to asia... it really doesn't matter that there were others that reached the amierca's prior to him, they made little to no impact on the future, but let us not forget the diseases and pests that were brought over from europe, or the enslavement or displacement or destruction of entire indigenous cultures. without that, we wouldn't be where we are today... of course without the dark ages, we probably would be farther than we are today... but what's a little inquisition now and again? besides, nowadays, we seem to be moving in the other direction, all science, no faith... but that's a completely different subject for another time... so everyone raise your glass to columbus, because without him, we probably would be living very different lives, if we even would have existed at all... a lot can happen in 600 years...

but I'm just guessing about that.

so I really like having the first row in first class because I can put my feet up against the wall, and I'm practically the first person off the plane. however, there is this twinge of anxiety, because that first seat does not have a spot for you to place your carry-on items in front of you. therefore, you have to use overhead space, and even in first class, there is still some fighting about trying to get the overhead space directly over your head, so that you don't have to reach back or hold up the line or whatever. other problems being that the emergency oxygen tanks are sometimes in that overhead space, so you can't even use that space, and you are forced to place your carry-on items in the overhead space across the aisle. >gasp!< 'how dare you!', the people sitting in seats c and d say with their eyes. 'blow me.' I think to myself. and then I feel bad because I thought that and then I apologize in my head to them, since I never said it out loud... after that I get a little sad because I'm such a jerk and I get a drink to drown out my sadness. fortunately for me (and to curb my drinking), after my first glass of wine (or coffee and baileys or vodka tonic) I pass out for 15 minutes while the plane takes off... I am then awakened by the bustle of the flight attendants getting the drink service going, and I remember how mean I was, so I get sad again, and I get another drink (what the heck, right? they're free) before I know it I've had 4 drinks in about an hour... Imsofakingdom... then I get picked up (hopefully I didn't leave my car at the airport because [not] driving home would suck...

but I digress.

I found that I can actually put my feet up when I sit in the window seats, so I have decided, from this point forth to sit in 2-A - I'm the 5th or 6th person off the plane, I don't have to stress about overhead space, and I get to put my legs up whilst I look out the window.

it still bothers me a bit that the some flight attendants still give me a double take (and twice had the audacity to card me) when I order my drinks. you saw the manifest chica. how many underage elite members do you know?

I'm such an a-hole.

I think I need a drink. :-P

ok... seriously people. I get spouts of boredom during the work day, because I really can handle all the work they give me in about a quarter of the time they give me to do it...

so all I have are a handful of sites which I can actually peruse due to the firewall provided by my client. blogs - which don't belong to myspace, just happen to be some of the places I can visit without blatantly misuing client resources.

so here's the thing. please blog everyday and blog often, because I am bored and I don't want to have to go out and find other blogs, because I just don't feel like adding links to the link page, plus it's different when you are reading someone you don't really know unless they are very witty or funny, but I don't want to go through the trouble of finding them... if you know of sites like that then please tell me, because I need something to do that looks semi-productive.

I laugh as I post this, because in about three weeks, I will probably be so busy that I won't be able to blog or even read blogs, so how's that for irony.

ok... so it's like I'm going backwards in time... a few weeks ago, I spent much of my time playing guitar hero on the ps2. then I found the ps1 emulator and started playing ffvii... now, today, I found battletech - which you would play on in DOS on a 386 PC... dude. my phone has more processing power than those old computers.

in any case, I could never finish the game, because I didn't have the manual and I couldn't do the puzzle at the end without it. so I gave it up, oh so many years ago.

somehow I randomly came across the game... but given my current affinity for finding old games, I decided to give this one a shot. dropped the name in google and a few scant minutes later, the program is sitting on my desktop...

at work.

I booted the game up, and it occupied my whole screen. it's a good thing no one was looking, because I probably could have gotten fired. I killed it and e-mailed the game to myself, for future use.

it is very much a rpg, but very lo-tech compared to what we have now... but considering that it's from the late 80's, that's kind of an obvious statement. I'm going to give myself a couple of days to beat it. in ffvii I just picked up vincent in my party (so I dropped barret from the three and went with cloud, tifa, and vincent - he just seems cooler than barret) but I'll probably give that a rest until I beat battletech...

I am a scatter-brained attention deficit geek. I get bored way to easily... it's like tetris or bust-a-move, I end up making a mess out of things just so I have something to do :-P

well, not really, but I'll just pretend for today.

every wednesday sushi for lunch! I read somewhere that korean run sushi places are now outnumbering chinese restaurants... I wouldn't know... I only go to three or four chinese restaurants at home - three for the dim sum and one because I like their bread and egg rolls (along with all the other food too, of course). :-)

so is it just me, or do people think that people who aren't from the area in which they are driving can't drive.

so, being from michigan, I think that no one outside of michigan can drive. nyc? forget about it, you guys drive like 5 miles an hour in rush hour... la? same thing, except instead of being on city streets, you are on freeways... down south... yeah, talk to me when you get a few inches of snow in stop and go traffic... chicago... well... I guess I can't really dismiss them... but whatever - you can't drive as fast on your freeways... I've actually never driven a car myself in the outside the us (canada doesn't count) so I can't speak for other countries, but I have to give props to the filipino drives, because I probably can't hang. crazy ass drivers though...

then again, people - in general - don't like the way I drive... I guess you might be able to blame my mom for that - but whatever - I actually don't have to drive nearly as much as I used to, and not nearly as far...

btw - did you know that it is legal to drink in a moving vehicle in ct if you are a passenger? crazy.

I heard that there are some places that have drive thru margaritas or daquiris or something... drive thru... what kind of place breeds alcoholics that they need a drive through? it's different than those alcohol garages that you can pull in and get a keg or whatever and drive through it... that's party planning (or raging alcoholism, but isn't it really just the same thing?) single drinks that you order on the go is just silly... and possibly quite dangerous.

drinking and driving is bad.

so is driving and sleeping.

so is driving and talking on your phone - but I'm guilty of that too...

so is [insert whatever inappropriate comment you had in your drty mind here] - pervert. can't believe you thought of that.

and what is it with me being on some frakked out n sycn kick... blame my ipod which puts 'n sync at the beginning of the song list and me being to lazy to drop the player into shuffle...

san dimas high school football rocks!

...thinking of you... made a mistake when I let you go baby, I drive myself crazy... wanting you the way that I do...

so, I think they fixed the lights just above and behind my cube... it's noticably brighter, and that is the only thing I can think of, unless my eyes are getting better.

it's amazing what you get used to, and then when you get something better, you realize how much better it is now...
or the opposite, how you've had something so good for so long, but then when you drop it for something else, you realize how much better you had it where you were, as opposed to you have have now...

crazy.

one.

more.

month.

four weeks to be exact.

I will be done with ct.

then I go to houston.

we'll see if that's better or worse that the current situation.

clouds above you start to pour

when I wasn't traveling at all, I thought, gee - it would be nice to travel. now that I have been on a plane twice a week for the last two years, I'm thinking... gee... it be nice not to travel.

all of your doubts rage like a storm

I'm sure there is a middle ground some where. my goal is to find it.

you know, I wouldn't mind flying more than twice a week, if it means that I can sleep in my own bed more than three nights a week, and when I was home, I'd be done working.

and you don't know who you are anymore

we'll get there someday.

Somewhere there's a field and a river, you can let your soul run free. someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace

for now, I guess I'm going to have to deal with being a raging alcoholic gamer with too much and not enough time...

oh... btw - I think I'm going to start selling my comics and anime figure collections... I will however, be saving some of the more sentimental items, but most of them are going on the block...

so if you are interested, let me know - otherwise I'll be dropping them on e-bay...