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I f*@#ing HATE []. WTF. what do you have to do? I don't know. I don't get it. it seriously is beyond me.

you think you know. but you don't. but you really do. but maybe you don't want to know that you know.

delusions. that's how it works. the ancients deluded themselves into think there was a god for every unknown out there.

God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs.
God creates man, man destroys God.
Man creates dinosaurs, dinosaurs destroy man.
Dragons destroy everything.

the question is, am I wrong and I delude myself or am I right and I delude myself?

"You remember when I said how I was gonna explain about life, buddy? Well the thing about life is, it gets weird. People are always talking ya about truth. Everybody always knows what the truth is, like it was toilet paper or somethin', and they got a supply in the closet. But what you learn, as you get older, is there ain't no truth. All there is is bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life like when you get older is, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that's your bullshit, so to speak." ~Bernie LaPlante, Hero

how depressing is that?

things like an h2 or a yacht or a summer home or designer clothes...

so, I used to throw fits when I just bought something and it would get dinged up the first time out... and I not one to judge people for buying things they don't need because I'm one to talk.

in any case, I've heard people talking about stuff like, oh I would never buy [insert expensive item here] because of the gas... or I would never buy a [insert another expensive item here] because I would never be able to take care of it...

smart - you should buy stuff that has an upkeep you can't handle.

then there are the dumb people that buy stuff like that and for some reason that "item" is the end-all-be-all of their existence... not good - because if it gets rained on, or if someone puts a hairline scratch in it, they will go nutters...

seriously - I can understand collecting things and not wanting them to be damamged for the sake of the collectable's integrity, but for things like cars or clothes or shoes - if you don't want them getting scuffed up or anything or can't afford them getting all messed up- don't wear it out... but then if you did that, then what would be the point of buying it?

when I'm buying clothes, it's not like I'm hoping someone will spill red wine all over me, but it is not the end of the world. I'll either get it cleaned or I'll toss the shirt and by a new one. I'm of the mind that if you are exposing something to external forces and it's not durable enough to withstand said forces and you can't afford to replace it - then you probably shouldn't have bought it in the first place.

you have every right to be annoyed, however, if damage does occur - and I'm not saying that the $500 shirt wasn't really well made and looked really good, but if you only have one $500 and the rest of your clothes (combined) cost less - it probably shouldn't be a part of your regular wardrobe...

unless you just like to bitch.

eh... whatever... my train of thought just kicked me off...

ok... so I just finished watch "big" again... one of many of the movies where a child controls an adult body - "freaky friday", "vice versa", "13 going on 30", "18 again" - among others...

so there is this movie that I vaguely remember, where the main character, a boy, becomes instantly older meets a woman and the two fall for each other... eventually the boy must return to his proper age (I think in this case, he was in highschool)... at the very end the last scene shows that the woman chooses to follow the boy (somehow) and joins him in his highschool class...

for the life of me, I cannot remember the name of that movie!

I haven't thought to hard, but I'm also sleepy, so that's not helping much.

if you have any clue what movie it might be, PLEASE let me know!

[UPDATED 8/3/06] I found it - thanks to imdb.com's power search and numerous plot word combinations, the name of this movie - surprisingly - is 14 Going on 30... funny, I had a feeling that it would something like that, but had no idea it would have preceded "13 Going on 30" - it was made for TV in 1988, and I have absolutely no idea how I even remotely remember watching it, other than the spark after watching "Big"... but then again, I guess that would explain it... why I remember is a whole other wonder.