babiegoose.com

so it's spring time again...

not a big fan of spring fashions... not a very pastel-y person, although I am feeling the linens...

problem with linen is that it's a bitch to maintain... not something you can keep unwrinkled... but that's how it rolls. it's got to keep it real.

aaand, whatever.

so my allergies are kicking up with a vengence this year... tried to go with these herbal pillules... worked a bit, but not enough... went with nasonex, but that didn't help my itchy eyes... took out the contacts and went back to zyrtec.

allergies suck.

so, since I'm not wearing contacts, I've noticed that it is imperative to keep my hair cut, because the sideburns look STUPID when they get too long.

also, I don't like not being able to see when I wake up in the morning... and since I don't like to sleep with my glasses on my face...

well, you get the idea.

... ... ...

played poker last night... as I do every tuesday with my co-workers... why do I play? because there is really nothing else that would take precedence over it...

I'd much rather be having dinner with my family, but since flying home wouldn't be conducive to my project's budget, that's out.

... ... ...

I've rediscovered text based games. have I mentioned that before? no? if I did, so what... I'm talking about it now.

hitchhiker's guide to the galazy, adventure, zork I, II, III...

crazy. I found an apple IIe emulator, and I can play that, oregon trail, castle wolfenstein, and some other's I can't think of...

it's very nice, because I can play them while I'm at work, and it actually looks like I'm doing work...

that is until someone actually reads what is on my screen...

open door
get all
drop lantern
kill troll
kill troll
diagnose
get egg
up
west
east

not to mentione all of the text that pops up describing the rooms and whatever.

... ... ...

I would totally get fired but for the simple fact that I get it done. "it" being whatever work it is that I need to look like I'm doing.

it also helps that, for some reason, I work best after 6pm... it could be because no one is here and the place is quiet and I've exhausted all possible scenarios to not doing real work... by 6pm, I've checked all 12 e-mail accounts three to five times, I've checked all of the link blogs and the sub-link blogs three to five times, I've read all of the news for the day, I've read about random things in wikipedia (those links within articles just keep me going and going and going...), I've looked up a handful of tidbits at imdb.com, I've read through a number of movie transcripts, and I've played a few text games or sudoku games...

frankly, I'm surprised I get anything done.

you know that feeling you get when you don't want to do work?

yeah.

... ... ...

it's 11:30am.

typically, I would im my roommate and we would go to lunch because we just need to be out of the office.

he's on vacation.

so I'm going to leave and sleep at my apartment.

and eat caffeine, because that should suffciently kill my appetite for a few hours.

... ... ...

by the time I get back, I should be in the mood to start doing something productive.

... ... ...

have a nice day! hope you were as productive as me! :-P

so, it's been almost 7 years since I remember luis and I playing silent hill in our dorm room, with all of the lights off, late at night...

I remember how freaked out I would get playing the game or watching luis, because there is some straight up freaky s#!% in that game...

I saw the movie on satuday at the 11pm showing.

yeah... probably not such a good idea.

but it brought back all of the memories... like the siren, the mandolin, the freaky zombie creatures, the acid tripped out alternate reality...

don't know what it is, but I get sucked into movies so easily... unless the movie really, really sucks (i.e. house of the dead)...

damn the critics - I liked this movie...

[here's where I would explain all the reason why I liked it and how good it was (in my opinion), but I decided to just skip over that]

...so yeah, I'll probably end up buying it, because I'm silly like that - at least uwe boll didn't get his stupid mitts on this... I'm sure it would have been completely void of any redemeptive qualities... that dude kills video games movies like [insert anaolgy (meaningful to you) here]...

so I saw a movie last night.

went with a bunch of co-workers...

... ... ...

don't you hate it, when you are watching a movie and that guy who sits there watching every minute aspect of the movie, and then figures out the whole movie and tells you about 15 minutes in?

yeah.

well...

it's fun.

at least for me. but I'm sure everyone else doesn't like when I do that.

I actually only do that so I have a witness... because no one would believe me if I said, after the movie, "I figured it out here..."

... ... ...

that's it.

saw lucky number slevin.

I liked it a lot. although I think the sir ben kingsley's role could have been played by dustin hoffman, but ben kingsley can be much more sinister... it's just weird to me to hear dustin hoffman's voice coming out of ben kingsley...

at least, that's how I kept thinking about it. [dustin hoffman did not do any voice overs for ben kingsley btw, he just sounded like him]

whatever.

I didn't want to get into the movie, so I chose one insignificant fact and took two run-on sentences to talk around it.

... ... ...

yeah. I'm busy today.

:-P

gray:
O.E. gręg (Mercian grei), from P.Gmc. *gręwyaz (cf. O.N. grar, O.Fris. gre, Du. graw, Ger. grau), from PIE *ghreghwos, but no certain cognates outside Gmc. The distinction between British grey and U.S. gray developed 20c. Gray as figurative for "Southern troops in the U.S. Civil War" is first recorded 1863, in reference to their uniform color [from Online Etymology Dictionary]

so in other words...

gray is a color, whereas grey is a colour...

you know those moments where you are completely and utterly thrilled about something?

the moments of victory or that sense of accomplishment?

have you ever looked around at the other people and wondered, "why the heck aren't you so excited?"

well, the obvious answer is that they are not going through the same thing you are... sure they can be excited for you because you are excited, but they will not feel what you are feeling because the experience is uniquely your own.

once in a while, you will get that guy who will put you down, because - from your perspective, he is a jerk.

every so often, you will put yourself down because you just do... no one likes disappointment, so if you keep yourself depressed, there really, you don't have too far to fall.

... ... ...

I have often thought about other people's perspectives...

unfortunately for me, I have only done it on those occasions were I am not feeling selfish...

when I'm feeling selfish, I really don't give a hoot about other people...

[don't think at me like that - that's what selfish means... duh.]

I think, "what would make someone say something like that?" why would they tear you down so fast?

it's funny, because when you think about that - although happy outburts are usually acceptable public displays, to someone with a different set of life experiences can completely be offended by it...

since unhappy public displays are usually ignored or people frown upon them, when a person who has been exposed to a happy display, they feel that their happy display is intruding on their own feelings and that person speaks out...

I guess, proper etiquette demands polite society - which means that overly happy displays and the opposite are frowned upon in general.

but that would also include public displays of affection...

but it's all a cultural thing...

I say, if someone can be happy outloud, why can't someone be sad outload?

people are going to be annoyed either way, but because happy is more acceptable than sad, people allow the happy and piss on the sad...

I think we as a society are feelingists...

people need the range of emotion in order to be a complete person, because without the opposites, there is no comparison, and without comparison there is only expectation and that leads to disappointment, so eventually it will all come around...

the longer you stay on one side of the spectrum the harder it will hit you on the otherside.

... ... ...

all that being said.

there is the struggle between wanting to do the right thing and being complacent.

because one is definitely easier than the other.

I need to wash my whites - I didn't have any plain white t-shirts this morning and therefore had to wear a dark shirt as the printed t-shirt I was forced to wear would have been seen through a lighter colored shirt.

I learned that TCP means Transmission Control Protocol.

I was reminded that dynamite is employed in putting out fires under certain circumstances. (MacGyver told me that first, oh so many years ago)

I learned that there are far more iguanas that people in Boca Grande, FL - but if you think about it, there are far more insects that people in the World - but considering that iguana's are far more complex than insects - and much larger, and therefore more unsightly - it makes it a bigger deal...

I learned that if the time-wait on a TCP connection is to short, the server could potentially be taking away resources from processing to clean up sockets...

and it's only 11am!

so good to me [not]

monday, monday, it was all I hoped it would be [oh, sooooo totally not]

oh monday morning, monday morning couldn't guarantee
that monday evening you would still be here with me.

... ... ...

travel day...

there is a definite difference in having to leave monday morning than sunday night...

the trade off is that I have to be here until friday...

therefore I lose thursday night...

I think Thursday home and out sunday night is better than friday home and out monday morning...

... ... ...

But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time
Read more.

Guaranteed 100%

sprinkle a little on the road and >poof!<

TRAFFIC!

big cars, little cars...

even trucks!!!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

not only does this amazing potion stop traffic!

it makes your car DIRTY!

that's right! just drive around in the potion and soon you will be in desperate need of a CAR WASH!

How much would something so magnificent set me back!

Brace yourselves!

IT'S FREE!!! (WOOO HOOO!)

Also, it is available to anyone ANYWHERE!*

I know what you're thinking. How can something so wonderful be available to an everyday shmoe like me?

Simple.

It's NATURE!

... ... ...
*if the climate is temperate or warmer**, availability subject to weather conditions or acts of God
**above freezing so as to not create snow

DISCLAIMER WARNING: all-new-and-improved magical traffic potion causes, but is not limited to, increased traffic accidents, road rage, depression, increased or decreased plant growth, flooding, mudslides, long walks, decreased health and even death

spam sucks.

I need to find a good way to block spam without having to make people sign in or fill out a form...

blacklist used to work well for me when I was on MT...

I have to start looking for a good one for nucleus now...

:-(

I have often asked myself, "Do we truly have free will?"

and the juxtapose that question with "What is God's will"

if we have free will, is God's will not being done when we choose not to follow God's will? But if God's will is always being done, then do we really have free will?

the problem that we have is that we look at it from a cause and effect, four-dimensional perspective.

We, as humans, are free to do as we please. We make our own decisions, regardless of our environment or circumstances. You always have a choice. Even when you don't think you have a choice, you do. You can choose to do, or not.

it's really that simple.

so how can we have free will while God's will is being done?

I like to think of it as maze (time and space) - from two perspectives. the first perspective (humans) being in the maze, not being able to see what is ahead or behind, in fact, easily losing direction if we close our eyes and spin around. the second perspective (God's) being above the maze, able to see all pathways and dead ends, able to manipulate the maze when we aren't looking.

Each intersection is a choice - and no matter which way it goes, we must choose.

He gives us a map through the maze, and we can either choose to follow the map, or go our own way.

Now God, being omnipotent and omniscient, knows what we are going to do before we are going to do it, so He tells us the path which He would like to put us on... we just have to choose to follow it.

God exists outside of the maze, so - to put it crudely - He sets us up like dominoes. Each human interacting with each other, with God seeing the past, present, and future (to us) all at once.

We all make our choices.

God channels them.

So God's will is done, on Earth as it is in Heaven, while we are free to make our choices.

It might seem like predestiny, because it might seem like we are being manipulated, but that's because it's from our perspective, not from God's...

Nothing is predestined.

what happens to our souls is up to us - because really, we make our decisions based on what we think and feel...

just because God can see what is going to happen, doesn't mean that we didn't get there by our choices. [the double negative is proof positive that we end up where we are because of our choices... and in someways by other peoples choices]

I guess what I mean by moving the maze around is that we are going to end up where we are going to end up, but our actions trigger other actions which other people will choose to react to... in the process, things are going to get done... and those things would be God's will...

... ... ...

if it were God's will that we all believed in Him and followed Him, then that would be so... but it's not... because that would negate free will...

... ... ...

evil happens because without the choice of evil, then there would be no choice.

... ... ...

but that is a subject for another time...

so this weekend I was playing with my nieces and nephews at my cousin's house... they were all running around screaming asking to be thrown in the air or spun around by their ankles or being tackled...

so I'm running around with them, being the big kid I am...

I am running in the basement and there is this little plastic mat with an accompanying handrail which I suppose is for the youngsters to play as ballerinas or whatever...

flashback to physics class - any physics class - Friction: the force that opposes the relative motion or tendency of such motion of two surfaces in contact.

socks on carpet = high friction
socks on plastic mat = low friction
two-foot tall, plastic handrail = bludgeoning object

so when you are running on carpet, you expect a good deal of traction whilst running. you cannot expect the same when suddenly transitioning to plastic.

it's simple really... reduced friction, inertia, and improper weight distribution will result in (in this case) a huge bruise on the upper torso (from the handrail), a sprained thumb (from overextension during the attempt to ease the fall), and a good dose of embarassement...

... ... ...

I'm going to have trouble playing octaves with my right hand for a little while.

... ... ...

I really should pay more attention when I'm running around like an idiot.

"Gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or intoxicants to the point of waste. In the Christian religions, it is considered one of the seven deadly sins -- a misplaced desire of food or its withholding from the needy" ~http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gluttony

so is it considered waste if you get wasted and throw up?

not that I did.

I only had three beers last night... but on an empty stomach, I was pretty much done.

[yeah, I know - light weight]

in my defense they were microbrews of ~7.5% alcohol by content...

not sure if that counts as gluttony. considering the meager portions that I am able to consume at any given meal, I would think that I am far from gluttonous...

well, except for chocolate and ice cream.

... ... ...

I guess it all depends on what you do while your intoxicated...

in my case, it leads to excessive singing and dancing, statements of affection which border [or at times cross over] uncomfortability, and very bad poker playing.

I also have the tendency to call people and leave absurdly long and incomprehensible voice messages.

... ... ...

none of this happend last night.

three beers and a meatloaf dinner...

I was singing along with the dude at the bar with the guitar and a mic, although I wasn't singing into the mic.

my rommate was bitching about some of the people we had dinner with who had, by that time, left the establisment.

... ... ...

in any case, I bring up gluttony because I just ate out for lunch and I'm super full...

I had a whole half of a sandwich and a cup of soup. typically I leave the restaurant with a takeout box because I can't finish (any meal) so my leftovers become dinner... today, I ate the whole thing!

[GASP!!]

yeah. and to top that off, I had two glasses of raspberry iced tea.

... ... ...

what to do. what to do.

... ... ...

I'm going to have to run a million miles to burn those calories.

with all of the technological advancedments things seem to be just as crazy, no... scratch that... crazier than before.

[oh, and btw - efficient is a blow to the mnemonic device "'i' before 'e' except after 'c' or when sounding like 'a' like in neighbor and weigh"]

I read once that with all of the advancedments in lawnmowers, rakes, blowers, vacuums, dishwashers, washers and dryers, irons ,steamers, brooms and mops... whatever, that it still takes the same amount of time to do work in and around the house.

fine - given that the advancements don't actually do the work for you (except maybe the dishwasher, but then some people just use those things as a drying rack - and the argument can be made that they don't really do all that good a job)

but what about in the work place? people went from using ledgers and actual paper spreadsheets and actually having a library of books which they would have to actually read to find something... and everyone had a secretary, because no one could type worth a damn... memos were sent out... messages were left with the secretary... and people worked late into the night to get stuff done...

now, we have a computers, scanned documents which are virtually instantly searchable, we have e-mail, voicemail, instant messenger, and if you can't type at a decent rate, then you are essentially useless...

and yet we are still working late into the night... well... some of us.

did efficiency just make people realize that since people could get more done in a short amount of time, that they needed to?

the difference in business over the last 20 years is astounding...

maybe it's the increase in the number of people that could do more work in less time made it easier for companies to implement things. the speed of business just got a boost from FTL [faster than light] drives and they can make jumps...

but many times the problem is that because things move so fast, things get missed or left behind, and then things have to be rolled back... money is essentially lost and less people are happy...

... ... ...

money sucks.

... ... ...

what are we doing to ourselves... we relegate our lives because we are imbued with the image of what we should be doing with our lives... we need to be successful... we need to have this and that so that we are looked on favorable.

screw that.

I just want to be happy.

... ... ...

but you need to provide for you family.

and since things aren't free...

... ... ...

when I was a young boy, (younger than I am now)...

I thought that life would get easier as you get older. I guess a lot of people think that.

but it doesn't. life just keeps moving, not really getting harder, per se - because the stress to get good grades and to be accepted as a teenager is just as stressful (in the mind of the teenager) as the issues an adult faces in the worklife.

the two are apples and oranges. when you are an adult, you have gone through what the teenager has, and therefore you have those life experiences ingrained into you being, so those things that used to be issues are nearly as big as your current issues because the past issues have been handled. The result is, that because you have gotten past those issues personally, people tend to downplay the gravity of the issues of another, when in reality those issues are just as stressful as any other.

the only thing is, the older you get, the more things you have to look back on to compare what you are about to endeavor, and therefore decrease (or increase) the amount of stress you can actually feel...

... ... ...

whoa... back to the topic at hand.

everything is so efficient now that everything has a label or is a condition and can be treated with drugs or with a new fad diet/prcedure.

the problem with efficiency is that it is so fast. and when you get used to that speed, it becomes an addiction.

instant gratification. people want more and they want it now, because it can be done.

remember having to save box tops or wrappers and sending away for some bauble which would take 6-8 weeks to arrive...

now, you drop in your credit card number and you can have it shipped overnight and at a discount.

... ... ...

I want the whole world.
it needs to be efficient,
give it to me now.

... ... ...

give everyone 6 hour shifts, pay them more money, rotate four shifts in and out, and give everyone a really simple task.

that should take care of the homless problem.

and if you see a bum coming at you, pre-empt him by asking him for some change.

... ... ...

you got a quarter?
can you spare me some change sir?
I ain't got no cash.

... ... ...

ok... now I have to go work.

so get this.

I wake up this morning - my blinds closed as is the norm and turn on headline news. robin wasn't in today, so already I'm annoyed because her subs are usually blondes and aren't nearly as cute. bob mentioned that it was going to be colder in new england, but maybe I wasn't listening or maybe he failed to mention, but whatever - it was snowing and I didn't know...

so as I'm getting dressed I'm thinking "hey, it's a little colder, so I'll wear just a sweater"

I leave the apartment without a coat.

I step out side and I notice that there is at least a couple of inches of snow on my car (which I decided not to park in the covered lot last night)

damn.

being too lazy to go back up stairs for a coat or anything, I immediately check the back seat for a snow brush...

to no avail.

check the trunk.

nope.

so I grab the newspaper they gave me and tried my best to move the snow off with that.

eh.

so, I finally leave the apartment complex and by the time I am halfway to the office I realize that I don't have my wallet.

wtf?

traffic is a bitch because the snow turned everyone in to scared grandmothers (who might very well just be concerned with not getting into an accident, but that was not my state of mind at the time) even though nothing has accumulated on the ground... I hear public saftey announcment how the state is going to be cracking down on aggressive drivers - obey the speed limits and buckle up.

well, I agree with the last one.

I get to work. I am heads down until about 1pm (which is unusual for me) and I think, due to the rumbling tummy, maybe I should go get food, and while I'm at it, go back to my apartment and get my wallet.

I walk outside.

All of the snow is gone. everything looks wet, and there is a brisk breeze.

the sun is shining as if that's what it was doing the whole time.

I roll my eyes and shake my head and walk to my car.

wtf.

... ... ...

aaaand that's all.

here is a list of things that I think should be standard issue:

first-class - this isn't really feasible but it would be nice. free alcohol, extra leg space, nice cushions, no elbow wars. Extra plus: my feet don't touch the ground when I sit back - so I can swing them around like a little kid. And if I sit in the first row, I can prop my legs on the wall. neat!

automatic faucets/soap-dispensers/towel dispensers - I am constantly mindful of germs and wet objects - so the fact that I don't have to touch the faucet to use it is brilliant. Add on the fact that I don't have to touch the soap or the towel dispenser is even more so. Minus: when I get an IR that doesn't work - then I'm waving my hands in a sink for 20 secs and feeling like an idiot

shoe horns at security - I bring my own plastic one whenever I travel - much easier than having to mess with shoe laces, however, a public shoe horn would not appeal to my disklike of other people's germs.

workout facility on the premises - not having to leave the building in the cold and being able to work out directly after work or before work or during lunch would be awesome - not to mention a stress reliever. of course, I don't have that now, because I am a contractor and not an actual employee. so I get jealous when I walk by and see people using the one on site...

automatic car starters - I have one on the car at home that I never drive (due to my absence), and I think that all cars should have them, including rentals, because it can get damn cold up here and I like to have a warm car in the morning instead of having a cold car for 3/4 of the drive to work.

tivo - I hate commericals when I am watching a show. the whole week should be pre-recorded... of course, that makes watching the news a little pointless...

red bull - I'm pretty sure people are in agreement that this stuff isn't good for you, especially in large quantities and especially with vodka. whatever - it curbs my appetite. I say "gimmiemydamnredbullnow!"

lip medex - chapped lips suck - in many different ways that I won't get into.

large offices with doors - cubes blow. having no privacy sucks. but stuffy, cramped offices might actually suck worse.

bathroom stalls with walls and doors that go to the floor - they seemed pretty standard in europe, and they've been around much longer than the US. When I'm in a stall, I don't want to see the feet of the person in the next one. it reminds me that if the wall wasn't there, I would be sitting, half-naked, with someone I don't know in my personal space.

floating mood meters a la Sims - when you don't even have to look at a person to let them know that you are in a pissy mood, it allows you to cool off that much faster. a floating mood meter (like a mood ring) should float above your head. so if someone comes up to you while you are i the red, they had better make you laugh or else they could lose a [noun]... this is, of course, fantasy, and wishing cannot make it so.

good 24-hour, on-site cafeterias - but that might be an oxymoron. vending machines will be the death of me - do you understand how many calories are in a bag of muchies? there is no nutritional value, just empty calories and loads of sodium. Not to mention the occaisional need to shake the crap out of the machine to get your little $2 2oz bag of puffed corn due to it being stuck in the coil.

um...

that's all I can think if right now... my brain stopped working a minute ago.

so I was going to try to leave early today...

you know - from work.

but I decided I won't.

I'll work late today, and leave early tomorrow.

... ... ...

by the way - this is how sad I am...

"early" means 9pm.

yup.

nine of the clock post meridiem.

... ... ...

also - I would like to inform you all that I had bread bowl of soup from panera and I ate all the soup and the whole bowl.

... ... ...

and why do I watch celebrity poker? one - they are always the same crappy ones showing and two - you get dumber every time you watch.

I am now so dumb it's illegal.

ok...

so it's the beginning of the end...

I hope this isn't a sign of things to come, but I am officially worried.

it only affects a few of the linked websites, but that's already a few too many.

... ... ...

livejournal has been blocked!

at least while I'm at the office.

the client's version of the MCP has decided to block traffic going to livejournal.

what next? xanga [eh]... blogger [GASP]?!

given that babiegoose.com is a wholly [ok - that word looks funny] owned and operated site - excluding the fact that I do not have a server hosting the site - and the fact that I should be the only person from this building/client who even goes to babiegoose.com (if I'm not, I'm worried, because I don't want my co-workers reading this) - it should be exempt from the filtering process.

if not... I don't know what I'm going to do.

... ... ...

I'm sad, thinking about it.

... ... ...

but I'll stop.

I need to go to work anyway. The thing is, I might be the reason livejournal got tagged... although it is a bit arrogant of me to think that I am the only one who is reading blogs from said site.

but if you could see what I see then you might think what I think...

... ... ...

or not really.

whatever.