babiegoose.com

6:00am. That's what the clock says.

I get up, realizing that I am wide awake.

Strange, considering that I was at work until almost midnight. (It's weird to be the absolute last person to leave the building for the night)

I step into the bathroom and turn on the shower. (I let it run for a few minutes.)

I don't like a cold bathroom, so I let the steam build up. (I really do not like to get out of a hot shower to a cold bathroom)

... ... ...

6:45am. hmm. it's only a quarter to seven and I'm ready for work.

I think I'll just close my eyes for a mi-

... ... ..

DAMN.

8:19am (get up, stupid!)

there goes getting into work early.

now my hair is ruffled - I have to redo it. (the new hair product smells nice)

... ... ...

8:36am. traffic is bad. the people in this city drive slow to begin with, but today is ridiculous. (someone mentioned to me that tickets in this state start at $250.00 and go up from there)

radio says there was an accident that just cleared up a few minutes ago. whatever. these people still can't drive.

why doesn't any radio station play more than one song in a row in the morning.

... ... ...

8:39am. stupid jerk. what's the point of passing me on the right and cutting me off just to wait behind the car that was slowing me down? (there's never a good excuse to cut someone off. pay more attention and you won't have to draw attention to yourself)

... ... ...

8:47am. good thing I'm not wearing a coat. I'm still good because I beat my managers in, but it's always better to look inconspicuous. if I'm walking around without a coat I can pretend to have been here for a while. No one really pays attention to what I do, as long as what I do gets done.

... ... ...

9 something am. work work work. (I don't remember everything that I do. you probably wouldn't be interested)

... ... ...

10:45am. I can't wait for lunch. I can't wait for 2:00pm

I just want to get home. working late isn't so bad when you haven't got anything else to do, but when you are this close to freedom, it's that much harder to wait.

I still have a shitload of work to do.

... ... ...

11:15am. It's a nice day to walk to lunch. So we do. Man, should not have had that red bull 10 minutes ago... no appetite.

fight through it. get the nachos, that seems simple. (too many, so I have to take the rest back - like always - I can never seem to eat a lot at once if it's not ice cream...)

... ... ...

1:12pm. no one is here that cares what I do. Everything I have to do needs to wait until Monday night. I'm gone in 20.

I did my 40... they can't complain about the work I'm doing.

fair trade.

I put my hours in.

they pay me.

so, obviously, when you get older you have more experiences...

certain memories remain forefront in your mind most of the time, and then there are memories that are triggered by smells, or by incidents, or by a certain word phrasing - you know, sort of like a magic word or trigger which brings forth a different section of your mind - a combination lock if you will.

overall, I think that this is necessary - kind of like Xavier's protocols - because you need those memories, whether it be to keep your ego in check, to get out of a sticky situation, or to realize that you don't need to buy a certain pair of shoes/boots... but you don't need every second of your life, so you store them away and forget until needed.

mostly.

first - if you had every memory at the forefront of your mind, you would probably go mad, because really, you would have every embarassing moment to clearly relive - and as I type this, I would rather forget the handful that have been sticking with me for the past few days or so... and it's not so much the actual memory of these experience that bother so much, but the feelings that they invoke.

you know that feeling - the light-headed, nkot in your stomch, hollowed out chest, cringe, scowl, twitchy lip, body shiver, head shake feeling... which usually leave you (meaning me) thinking (or saying) "arrghh, why are you so stupid" or "i hate you"

yeech.

nonetheless, these memories of these experience are vital for personal growth - because if we forgot these stupid moments - then we would make the same mistakes over and over, and then where would we be? It's a good thing that moments like those are so traumatic, because nothing motivates like panic and nothing imprints better than deep humiliation.

... ... ...

so there's nothing more fun that walking around most of the morning with your fly unzipped and the corner of your tucked shirt hanging through...

except those are the words...

we were at my cousin's last week (or two weeks now?) and we were reminicsing about the words we thought we knew but really didn't...

what was thought to be known:
"and I don't think I have ever seen a slow song in despair"

what it is actually:
"and I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair"

what was thought to be known:
"we're going downtown and we're looking around, and sugar we're going down swinging"

what it is actually:
"we're going down, down in an earlier round, and sugar we're going down swinging"

what was thought to be known:
"boys in the house, yeeeaaah. boys in the house, yeeeaaah"

what it is actually:
"poison ivyyyyyyy poison ivyyyyyyy"

what was thought to be known:
"do you really want a baby, let me know"

what it is actually:
"do you really want me baby, let me know"

what was thought to be known:
"all these pedophiles, about really nothing"

what it is actually:
"all this petty fighting, about really nothing"


there were a few more, but I captured some of those before...

and there were a few more that I forgot...

in any case, it doesn't matter what the words actually mean mostly, since people are going to sing whatever they think the lyrics are...

but man... there are some doozies...

so I just read that it is estimated that in 10 years 4 billion people will have a mobile phone... this is out of an estimated 7 billion people in the world.

given advaces in IP technology, every digital device on the planet will be able to have an IP address.

for those who don't understand the implications of that - it basically means that everything that can send and receive any kind of digital data (so pretty much anything - can be networked.

from a tech arch perspective, I can't imagine how security, asset management, software management, will be handled...

from a eutopian (eu = good) perspective, people will be able to communicate to emergency services, keep tabs on their kids, put criminals on an electronic leash, track any wireless networked device... possibilities are endless...

also everything could potentially be hacked...

but hey, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life...

given that technology doubles every ten years, every accomplishment we made in the last century will essentially be condensed into the first 14 years of this century.

the only problem I forsee is if our moral and ethical advancement will keep in pace with our technological achievements...

we are in an age where true democracy can be realized... (not a democratic republic - and until we get rid of the electoral college it's like a democratic republic republic)

of course that would mean that everyone would need to be effectively informed of everything on which they would be voting for...

which would mean that the media will have a tremendous influence.

so everyone, start buying up stock in media corporations... and sit on it until 2020.

people are already figuring out how to market digital media, so you can see the curve in the road coming up...

... ... ...

of course, I could be completely wrong and we could be suddenly thrown back a couple centuries in technology...

think global ice age or ELE...

but that's just the pessimist in my coming out.

... ... ...

well, back to work.

yup... 5am this morning...

I'm gonig to try to sleep with the tv off...

perhaps there is something that plays at 5am on the cartoon network that keeps waking me up at that time...

or it could just be my body saying it wants me to not sleep when I can't get a full eight, so might as well go for four...

whatever.

I at least got to watch the teen titans this morning before I turned on headlines news...

I figured since the news loops every 30 minutes or so, I could afford the 30 minutes to watch the rerun of the time the titans entered into raven's mind.

fun.

... ... ...

so with 30 minute looping live news broadcasting... I would guess it is pretty hard to not sound bored after reading the same piece of news, over and over and over and over and over...

I figure they would have to repeat the same stories at least 8 or 10 times... that must suck, especially if the news I tragic... I would imagine that telling jokes gets old too...

sure, it's funny at 5am, but when you've told it for the 10th time by 10am, I'm sure you're not thinking it's so funny.

but hey...

that's just me.

so I figured out why my apartment - or my bedroom, rather - has been so dry...

previously - I have been leaving the master bathroom door open - and there is (obviously) a vent for the climate control... well - there is also one in my bedroom...

given that the bathroom essentially is nothing but tile and dry wall, all of that extra heat gets pumped into my room - creating an arid environment.

how fun.

so the past few nights - quite by accident - I have been sleeping with the bathroom door completely closed.

there has been a noticeable decrease in my nightly discomfort.

I still, however annoyingly, wake up almost precisely at 5:03 am every morning, no matter what time I fall asleep.

there is no logical reason, as I have in no way conditioned my biological clock to even consider getting up at that time.

given that 5am will typically be around 4 hours of sleep, I blame it on circadian rhythm and my mind, as it probably knows that a full additional four hours would be impossible, given the time I need to arrive at the office.

this is disheartening, as this morning (or perhaps yesterday morning) headlines news told me that there is no way to catch up on your sleep if you haven't slept...

I haven't done the math, but I once read that if you sleep less than eight hours a day, you lose so many years off the end of your life. My thinking is that if the number of extra years you get at the end of you life is about the same as the extra hours of sleep you get - I figure it's a wash - I mean, you can't really do much while you're sleeping, so why bother with the extra years...

of course - this is strictly speaking from an efficiency standpoint and not by an emotional standpoint - I would of course cherish those extra years with my family and friends (assuming I still had them)

then again, I'm sure these studies are done via surveys of a sampling of people - which could easily be skewed towards a specfic demographic, so who really knows?

I mean - what would a true sampling be for a country whose geographic regions are so diverse and dispersed?

national averages don't mean anything to me.

only because I've been above average... :-P

... ... ...

and I don't mean that in an Eddie Haskell kind of way...

go this survey off pam's blog... just need a quick distraction from work for a minute so I can refocus...

It would be interesting to see what everyone says...

How well do you know me? For instance, did you know...

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1.lifeguard
2.dj
3.chemical engineer co-op
4.computer consultant

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1.The Princess Bride
2.The Matrix
3.Clue
4.Sneakers

Four places you have lived:
1.St. Clair Shores
2.Detroit
3.Grand Rapids
4.Midland

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1.battlestar galactica
2.csi (any version) ncis
3.house monk
4.smallville stargate (any version) law and order (any version)

Four places you have been on vacation:
1.fiji
2.philippines
3.rome
4.alaska

Four websites I visit daily (or often):
1.babiegoose.com and all blogs linked therein
2.wikipedia
3.gmail/google
4.imdb

Four of my favorite foods:
1.sinigang
2.lasagna
3.coney dogs
4.anything that lorie cooks

Four places I would rather be right now:
1.with lorie in fiji
2.with lorie in florida
3.with lorie in boracay
4.with lorie with our families

... ... ...

you know... there isn't all that much stuff in this survey. it was just a nice little distraction from work...

I've since graduated from the grande caramel mocha to the venti...

I figured - eh - what's another quarter?

so... back to work...

it was more of a prodding from my roommate - I think he and the guys he supervises have these frequent buyer cards so that every time they buy a sandwich at that particular blimpie's they get a stamp to, eventually, get a free one...

this blimpie's is sketchy though.

they only take cash, they have an atm which they probably own and they probably get all of the fees...

also, none of their prices are really listed anywhere... the menu they have up seems more like guidelines instead of steadfast prices... maybe they charge depending on the market value of bacon, ham, and turkey... whatever.

another thing - the jalepeno chips - not so jalepenoey - more like a mystery flavor which usually ends up being salted or unsalted plain chips...

also - get this - no free refills! $0.89 to refill if you sit in the place to eat. wtf?!

I dropped $10 on lunch - which all in all, isn't a bad thing, but seriously - I probably could have spent half that and had left overs for dinner... and all that without having to bitch about the service and the prices.

I don't think it was the actual amount that threw me, it was more the fact that it was a surprise - but not one of those happy surprises. one of those, I have it in me to bitch but really I just want to sit down and eat because I don't need additional stress in my life right now...

here's the thing.

I'll bitch and moan, but I'm not nearly ambitious enough to call their corporate headquarters and file a formal complaint. why? because the hour I would have spend on the phone isn't worth me making a fuss over ten bucks.

I'm just not going to go there again.

and now that you all know - don't go to the blimpie which is four miles north of my client's office...

... ... ...

um... actually, I'm not sure where this place is - as I didn't drive and was too busy not paying attention to the streets to actually calculate the distance and direction. hell - I don't even know if it was north.

but I have half a bag of sun chips left as well as half my club on wheat.

which will be dinner.

another one of those I'm so tired I could sleep at my desk...

oh wait...

I did.

what's worse is when you find yourself asleep at your desk, an come to the realization that you just drooled all over yourself.

nasty.

... ... ...

um... I'm glad that never happened to me...

... ... ...

I am such a slacker.

but I'd like to examine that.

if I am a slacker and I recognize it, does that mean I'm really not a slacker because a real slacker doesn't realize that he is a slacker... or the fact that you know if you are or not has no bearing on the fact that you are and if you recognize that you it only means that you are a self-aware slacker.

... ... ...

something to ponder I guess.

there is something about karaoke that brings everyone together... (albeit when everyone is either comfortable with each other or everyone is completely wasted)... so what better way to do it than to have four wireless mics and tens of hundreds of songs to sing?

too bad our family room is so small... we can maybe fit eight people

but seriously... four mics that are wireless

we totally have to have a karaoke party...

singing skills not required...

the only requirement is that you love music, and love [or even just like] the song the you are singing...

because really, none of us are so good that we could be pros...

it might be just me, but I think there's a bond that is made between people who put themselves out there with a song in their heart and on their voice...

...vocabulary's necessary when digging into my library...

I was at the airport last night waiting for them to open up the gate so that we could board...

there were a number of passengers that were standing around the entrace to the line to the gate shifting their gaze occaisionally as to not make eye contact with any other passenger.

I guess it was enough that everyone was [essentially] invading everyone elses personal space, so to decrease the uneasiness of the situation, the gaze shifting is the cousin to the staring at the eleveator numbers...

if eye contact is ever made, the polite half-lip smile and nod [sometimes with an accompanying half-tip-toe lift] is executed and the offending eye contact is immediately broken...

... ... ...

it's getting to the point where I can recognize the pilots voices for the flight, the attendants at the gate, as well as a few of the flight attendants...

of course I try to erase that from my memory as to diminish the patheticity* of my situation...

if I don't, I'd probably cry myself to sleep at night...

... ... ...

of course, it's not as bad as I make it sound - mostly I'm just trying to garner sympathy, but honestly if it were I problem, I would definitely not be the type of person to let sleeping rabid dogs lie...

::: ::: :::

lorie comes home today.

I'm so excited to see her... :-)

on Thursday... :-(

it will be the first Thursday in a long time that we get to spend together without poker getting in the way...

kimmie is picking me up, but is most likely going to go to anna and eric's to babysit isaiah...

of course, depending on whether we have dinner with them on thursday remains to be seen... that will be nice, because it's been the only time I've been able to see my mom lately...

[sigh]

boring tanget - my apologies...

::: ::: :::

Bonus: I get to wear the beads that she brought back from New Orleans...

[she can tell you the story about how she got them - it's not nearly as scandalous as you might think]

so there are things you know you know...

then there are things that you know that you don't know...

and there are things that you don't know that you know...

but there are things that you think you know, but don't know...

there is also a case where you know you know, but you don't know why you know or are quite sure that you know...

but I guess that's just a derivative of one of the other ones from above...

in any case - we just added a pressure booster pump to our house. (We have a community well which give crappy pressure) and we had a plumber install it.

[why the plumber instead of taking on the venture myself? - there was much more work to be done than I cared to take on myself, plus with a professional installation, I can work off the newly installed plumbing instead of botching it up first and paying someone later... I decided that me botching it up later would be cheaper for me to fix that me botching it up first.]

since I wasn't home when the plumber installed the booster, I had vince watch the house while he was there...

the plumber installed everything correctly (there was almost a point where he was going to install the pressure tank incorrectly, but fortunately I caught it - so even experts make mistakes) but for some reason the pressure wasn't holding...

he mentioned that he completely opened the pressure reducing valve which was placed right before the pump on the schematic...

[it was at this point which I started to question everything...]

the next thing he mentioned is that there wasn't enough pressure to keep the pump going so an external tank would need to be installed...

[crap... more parts and labor]

the pump would work fine once it was charged up, but the stopped working...

[dang... potentially broken pump]

... ... ...

so for the next week or so - I fiddled with it.

I was much to lazy to call him back and have to deal with more plumber stuff, so I tried to figure out the pump myself...

the pump instructions were not hard to follow... it just didn't mention stuff that I [eventually] figured out on my own...

the first thing that I didn't understand was why would the schematics call for a pressure reducing valve if it was supposed to remain wide open? didn't make sense...

then, why would the pump charge the pressure, run for a bit, and then stop when the pressure was low...

... ... ...

to make a long story short [too late]

I lowered the pressure via the pressure reducing valve and modified the pressure switch so that it turned on at a lower pressure...

I am assuming that the pump can sense how much pressure is coming in from the feed (water main) and can figure out how much pressure is being pumped through - because the pressure reducing valve was fully opened, too much water was being pulled in, so the pump would think there was enough pressure and then stop pumping...

I think that by lowering the pressure, it regulated how much water the pump was actually getting, so that it would keep a consistent flow of water from the main and therefore would not stop the pump because it could maintain a constant pressure, instead of a compression wave like pattern...

I'm not sure about the math behind it, but it seemed to work well while I was taking a shower today and when I was messing with the faucet...

I'll check with lorie tomorrow to make sure that it is working like I think...

if not - I'll have to tell her how to bypass the system...

I basically stopped being a dj... oh... six years ago.

basically when I graduated from college. it got too expensive to keep up to date and I got tired of lugging my equipment and vinyl around to parties that I either spun for free (because they were friends) or that I spun for a relatively inexpensive amount...

I loved to make mixes, but it wasn't one of those things that gave me a satisfied return... given the time and effort it takes to make a really good mix, i mean a really good mix, the songs would be outdated or overplayed within a few months and then you'd have to make another... (although a "really good mix" would have a much shelf life longer than the components songs themselves" in any case, it was more about the performance and the real time getting the crowd on the dance floor... my problem was that I wanted to be on the dance floor as much as I wanted to be behind the tables...

eventually, it got more to the point where there was too much effort on one side then the other, so I decided to let the chips fall where they may...

I haven't touched my tables in over a year, and it's been almost 5 years since I've used them more than once in the same year.

not because I stopped loving it, but it was not a priority in my life. I'd like to eventually set them up in my basement, but right now I have bigger time management priorities than getting back into dj'ing... you know, like spending time with my wife or our families... and with both of us traveling, there really hasn't been a week since New year's where we were in the same zip code together for longer than a week...

I seriously think the last record that I bought was in 2000 and it was probably a Hot 97 bootleg...

in any case...

if I ever do decide to dust off the old boots and suit up again, I think I actually might have to change my DJ name...

I googled it and there are a load of people from all over the world who have picked it up... a few older a bunch younger... I picked up the name in late 1994 (so I was still very much in highschool) and up to that point I think I went online maybe three times... once through prodigy and I think twice through aol... and at that point not everyone had a web page or blog yet...

so I'm not sure if I have dibs on the name, because there was no way for me to check back then, it certainly wasn't all that original, and I haven't been using it almost the same amount of time as I have,so I'd say it's fair game...

::: ::: :::

if that moment [where I decide to start spinning again for real ever] comes... I'll have change my dj name...

so lorie and I will be joining the relay for life...

June 3rd and 4th, 2006...

most of you probably have already heard of it, but if not - here it is...

Relay For Life® is a fun-filled overnight event designed to celebrate survivorship and raise money to help the American Cancer Society save lives, help those who have been touched by cancer, and empower individuals to fight back against this disease. During the event, teams of people gather at schools, fairgrounds, or parks and take turns walking or running laps. Each team keeps at least one team member on the track at all times.

Relay is much more than a walk around a track. It is a time to remember those lost to cancer and celebrate those who have survived. It is a night for people who have shared the same experience to comfort and console one another.

Relay gives you the power to help accelerate the Society’s advancement toward a future where cancer doesn’t take the lives of our friends and family.

don't know what it is...

the bed... or the dry air... or the fact that I can hear cars from the freeway...

but I can't sleep through the night in my corporate apt...

I sleep like a baby at home... well rested... it also could be that when I'm at home, I don't think at work at all...

but I don't think it's the stress of work... I just think the bed and pillows are crap and I probably need to get a humidifier for my room.

in any case, it makes me tired, especially before noon.

I don't like to hit the caffeine in the morning, because I'd rather not be dependent on it...

I was going to take a walk around the office for a bit, but then I'd look too much like I am... a slacker :-P

::: ::: :::

I count eight dead flies caught in the flourescent light's translucent panel above and to my right and 18 in the panel above and to my left...

nasty

::: ::: :::

so, since I was tired driving to work this morning, I noticed that my left eye was closing and that my right eye was trying to stay open (this is usually the time when lorie yells at me to tell me to pull over so she can drive...)

in any case - I glance over to the rear view and notice that I looked really whacked out when my eyes are trying to close and I am feebly trying to keep them open...

at that point, I slap myself and start screaming and try to find something to singalong on the radio... but they have mostly moring talk radio where they only play one song every fifteen minutes.

DUMB.

don't have any CD's with me, because I left them in my computer bag which I leave at my apartment because I can't plug into the network at my client because my laptop isn't authorized to be on their lan.

whatever

... ... ...

so I got a sausauge mcmuffin with egg meal...

... ... ...

I really need to work out this week.

... ... ...

I think I need to switch out my contacts soon...

so...

here's the thing...

I like to karaoke. no big deal, lots of people do.

the problem is, if I could - I can probably sing all night - because I like to sing (even though I know I'm not a great singer), because I like the songs, and its just damn fun - but it is different when it is in front of people, especially people you don't know all that well...

maybe it's shyness, maybe it's because you don't know what song to pick because nothing is worse than no one really getting into what you are singing when you are probably going to go all out to sing it, maybe it's because you know deep down that once you break that ice, you are diving straight down to the bottom and anchoring yourself there (and maybe you don't want to put people through that)

when it's at someone's house, the mic is like a joint you pass around... everyone gets a puff and then gives it to the next person... sometimes, some people don't want to toke as much, and others seems to want to smoke it all...

but it's different when people are forcing you... there is just more pressure, more expectation, more people paying closer attention...

that's not fun...

it's got to be organic...

it's got to be from within...

it's like someone saying "do something funny" there is no context, no target audience, nothing... it is the same reason why it is so hard for musicals to be good - because if someone starts singing and dancing in the middle of a conversation, it's got to seem natural...

imagine - being at work, in a meeting, and then spontaneously bursting in to song. (which is why "Once More with Feeling" was so funny, because it worked so well...)

of course... I bust out into song if I am comfortable with the crowd based on whatever words are said at any point...

that is also directly proportionaly to the amount of alcohol I've imbibed...

for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you...

after about 4 years... maybe 5... my pc has given up on me...

don't know what exactly is wrong with it... I'm guessing the motherboard is fried...

it was a PIII dual processor with two 1-Gig CPU's and about 1.2 GB of PC133 RAM...

when I bought it, it was pretty cool... the P4's were having problems because of RambusRAM at the time... and laptops weren't nearly as cheap...

in any case, I need a new box, motherboard, and RAM...

I'm reusing my video card, sound card, and all three hard drives, as well as my cd/dvd DL burner...

I figured all that should still be good...

anyone know where I can get that... I'm too lazy/busy to look when I'm home and I can't access shopping sites from work...

... ... ...

as much as I love technology...

I loathe it as well...

... ... ...

and that is a paradox of me.

I've been reading many of my past posts lately... it's sad to see that over the course of time, I have noticed that I have very little to say about anything that happens outside of my own sphere of influence.

my... isn't that just lovely...

[read:self-centered]

In any case it's not about what I want you to know about me but more what I want to know about me... or more generally what I want to know...

I don't talk about politics because honestly I'm not nearly ambitious enough do more than vote and tell others why I think that sometimes their reason for voting is good or silly... or articulate and defend why I believe in smaller government and why people should be able to manage more of their own money than they currently do...

I don't talk about religion, because although I say I am a devout Catholic, I'm sorry to say that I have not studied apologetics. I could not intelligently debate with you about whether or not there was a break in the line of popes leading to a full apostasy of the Church or when Jesus said about His Church, "...and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it" MT6:18 also meant His earthly church and not just His heavenly one... or explain clearly why Chruch tradition is important or why sanctifying grace alone justifies... I could tell you the difference I feel before and after confession... but it's like describing a vacation to somone who wasn't there.

I'd like to talk about movies, comic books, and video games, but it just takes to much time, I sound too much like a geek, and only a handful of my friends would be interested...

I don't talk about sports because frankly scarlett...

I don't talk about art, music, or love because talking about [them] is like dancing about architecture...

I don't talk about work, too much or too seriously, because on the off chance someone from work found this, I'd rather not have a record of my thoughts...

I'd probably talk about news if the news didn't talk about it so much...

I'd talk about poignant life moments or social commentary, but I haven't really been observing all that much lately and sometimes I feel like I'm prone to repeating myself...

apathy has rained on me, and now I'm feeling like a soggy dream. So close to drowning but I don't mind... I'm trapped inside this mental cage, throw my emotions in the grave (hell, who needs them anyway?)...

so, where do you go for your inspiration to write... usually I go around to other blogs to feel inspired - but that only works when people blog. of course, I haven't been roaming too far from what I have linked, so I'm sure there are other blogs of note out there... if you know of one or two or ten let me know... then maybe I can find others from whom I can bite some style...

in any case, maybe I would talk about the things I said I wouldn't talk about - I'm just afraid of the ensuing madness if the topic gets too sticky or touchy because the last thing I would want would be to lose friends and hurt feelings...

I love discussions, but people are to afraid to really discuss anything if it's not anonymous - I know I am, especially if I don't have the ammo to back up the opening volley... but I guess that's one way to learn... shoot first, ask questions later - that is, assuming I don't kill anything before it had the chance to grow into something worth discussing...

seriously... what would you say if I asked you why you picked the faith you did? Why am I Catholic? I'm Catholic not because I was raised Catholic. During college I probably went to Church only when it was convenient and usually only because I was home and my mother expected me to go, and I could not be remotely classified as faithful or devout... towards the end of college I started to question my faith and the Church and tried to see if I could find any reason to not believe. The internet being the big place that it is, has more than just objectionable material, it has information. The cool thing about a lot of the information is that someone was probably wondering the same things and posted it to share with everyone (isn't that nice?) so I tried to find everything out there that was against the Church and the bible and God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit... for everything one data point I found against the bible, I found three or four to support it. Many times, the sources which refute the existence of Jesus had no definitive or solid research on which to fall back. Then there is the arrogance of science thinking that it can find the answers to everything... but whatever...

why are you a republican... why are you a democrat... why don't you care about your government?

why do you only date people who share your ethnic heritage, religion, sexual preference.

why do you smoke. why do you drink alchohol.

why do we feel the need to be defined by those around us?

why do we or don't we care about what happens outside our zip code.

why do we care more about the business of other families while we ignore the business of our own...

why do we worry?

why do we put up or why are we stubborn?

apathy reigns supreme. in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. a wink is as good as a nod to a blind man.

There is so much that could be discussed... and yet we do not because on the net, the world is your forum, and by putting yourself out there you leave yourself vunerable...

and no one likes that.

but hey...

I'm too busy to talk about it in depth...

my words don't do it (or anything) much justice...

and it is just easier to tell you what "happened" today or what I ate for breakfast and lunch...

...

I had a cheese danish and a grande caramel mocha...

so far (six hours later), the cheese danish is only 3/4 eaten...

and I'm still working on it.

my...

how lovely...