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when you are traveling a lot, you find that you have much more time to reflect. Reflect on life, work, family, friends, etc.

you think about things that you thought you had already thought about but really had barely just scratched the surface.

the older you get, for the most part, the more you are able to see what life is about and what you life is becoming. you pick up the tools that will allow you to change your life, or you let it bowl you over (or go with the flow) and you allow life to take you where ever it takes you.

then you try to philosophize your way into the delusion that you are doing what you are doing because that is what you want to be doing, or, if it's not, then what you want to do really isn't something that you should be doing because you have a pessimistic outlook on the road less traveled.

I think about what life would be like if everyone lived with reckless abandon. of course, I'm pretty sure that there would be an increase of child neglect and potentially infant mortality.

then I think about what life would be like if everyone lived under rigid structure and routine.

the balance of our lives is beautiful in its simplicity and intricacies.

for everyone to be would be as if no one were enlightened.

at least it wouldn't matter.

because then no one would care.

but we aren't like that are we?

we travel to the farthest reaches of what we call our boundaries, to find out what we really want is what we left behind. Or maybe, we find what we are looking for, but what we are looking for really isn't what want anymore, because in our journey we grew up... then all of a sudden what we grew up believing we wanted ends up being trivial, and then what we want is to know what we want.

are we lost?

the ultimate journey would be the one that would let you reach the goals that you didn't know you have, doing it the way you didn't know you wanted.

to whom do these goals belong?

parents wish so much for their children, but how often do they let their children tell them what they want...

but then, how often to children not listen to the very sound advice that their parents gave them in hopes that their child would not make the same mistakes.

We are the reflection of the hands that raised us. In turn, we reflect that upon those we raise.

Depending on how clean the glass is, sometimes the reflection is perfect, but make no mistake that the glass can also be distorted, but there is also the chance that the reflection can be magnified...

for better or for worse.

we journey and journey.

because that is life.

how many roads...

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two roads diverged...

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maybe its time to come home...

Read more.

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people have their comfort zone.

some people feel at home in a quiet library, where others would feel intimidated by it.

some can be perfectly comfortable working on a car, where others are completely mystified.

kind of like shopping... there are the stores in which you swim through like a fish, and there are the stores in which you have no clue as to how to even begin to look around. In the latter, even when you are looking, you really don't see anything because you are still trying to figure out what you are doing there.

I feel comfortable working on, physically or electronically, computers.
I like the puzzle that they are and that they can create.

I feel comfortable on the dance floor, crowded or otherwise. I like the beats and rhythm and melodies and harmonies that move me.

I feel comfortable at the movies, in a record shop, comic book store, video game stop. I like the escape from reality and the outpouring of imagination contained therein.

I feel at comfortable in meijer, target, sam's, costco, and home depot. I like that they can possibly provide me with all of my material needs, and sometimes in bulk.

I feel comfortable at my mom's house. I like that even though I no longer live there, it still feels like home.

I feel comfortable at my house. I like that lorie and I have a place of our own - to build up and to share, even though, lately, we haven't been able to spend time together.

I feel comfortable at church. I like the gathering of people together to share faith, hope, and love.

I feel comfortable with my friends. I like that we can take two or three minds to do absolutely nothing, but somehow, still enjoy the day much more thoroughly than if spent alone. Alternatively, I like the fact that I have backup in case stuff goes down... you know, because I live in such a dangerous area.

I feel comfortable with lorie. I like that she can round me out, take the edge off my potentially uncomfortable situations, and keep me in check when I should know better but decide worse.

I feel comfortable alone. I like that I don't need to be tactful around myself. brutal honesty, outpouring of thoughts and ideas, the chance to be uncompromising, and the comfort of not having to "flex" my "style" to work with theres. I work with people when I must, because sometimes it is totally easier and much more interesting, if not fun. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I just get too tired or impatient to have to worry about your feelings every second you are around me, because frankly, during those sometimes, I'm just trying to get through the day, despite your need to make you feel special, liked, or ok with yourself. [read: self-absorbed]

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when you have people in their comfort zone, you can see their true nature. people are a little more patient and it is easier to communicate with them. people are more open-minded, although, with some, that might not be saying much. people drop their guard, if only a bit, and let things in and out that normally wouldn't fly.

people tell you their secrets, when they are comfortable.

people relax when they are comfortable.

some people say style before comfort...

I say comfort should be a part of style...

but if you are comfortable (and even stylish), that doesn't necessarily mean you are happy...

::: ::: :::

do not mistake comfort with happiness.

happiness and comfort are not mutually inclusive.

::: ::: :::

don't do it...

yay!

payday!

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today is the wonderful day of receiving money and watching it disappear day.

today I got paid and then I watched the bills take it all away.

bittersweet...

if only I could kill bills...

then our money wouldn't be...

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gone tomorrow...