babiegoose.com

conversations...

I find that it happens more now, you know, talking to people - the more you grow up, the more you are expected to interact... confersations, though, lead to the whole awkward silence after a segment of conversation... I'm attributing this to the fact that I am just starting to really talk to people here... at work...

With some people, it's very easy to flow from one topic to the next, but with others some times it just stops.

depending on how I feel about the person, I'll try to ask questions about that topic, something relevant, so the conversation keeps going and hopefully it will develop into something else... because you can sense when the conversation is dying, flailing - sometimes the conversation just dies, with no fight, no effort - as if it were happy ceasing to be...

other people whom I like less than some, usually when there is any break in the conversation, I just turn around.

any break - I mean if they take too long to catch their long winded breath or if they sneeze.

then, there are the people the are basically the coolers of coversation - when they walk in, all coversations stop or die shortly thereafter. Maybe because that person is the boss, or maybe because the person is just really bad a talking to people, but they are like bulls in china shops... socially inept.

and I want you to know...

I try very hard (most of the time) to accomodate these people... really - but there are times when you cannot. you really cannot hndle these types of people because no one has bottomless patience - and I don't have that deep of a reserve as it is.

so sometimes I can be less than hospitable... nah...

I'm a dick.

I will own up to it.

I just find those breaks in conversation funny - mostly I like to see what kind of faces they make, or where their eye contact goes, because, I don't know - I like to see people squirm. there are also those unfortunate people that just happen to, I guess - not click - with me, so it's always harder to talk to those people. you know? the feeling that - yes you can tell that they are trying to be engaging and polite - they just aren't your type of people. you have a chip, or they have a chip, or you both have chips, and it comes out in subtle word choice, body language, or maybe even phermones.

I'm a big fan of a theory of phermones, because know that at times I hold my breath when certain people walk by, not because they stink, but I just don't like their smell? or maybe I don't want to know their smell? and usually, if I don't like a person's scent (again, not because it is malodorous) I tend to like the person a fraction less that I probably would... I guess then, you could assume that it is easier for me to interact with people with whom I have no issues about their "scent"

but trust me. I don't go around sniffing people or anything weird, it's just a passing observation of which I am sometimes concious...

[awkward break in thought]

um.

so.

[sigh]

[turns around and pretends to be busy]