babiegoose.com

many moments, fleeting as they are, that make your heart flutter...

moments, meaning brief... little spurts of inspiration... motivation...

little epiphanies.

sparks of genius.

now if we could only capture each and every one of those sparks and focus them, then we could really light things up.

::: ::: :::

but life is a slow burn.

smoldering... with a deep, slow heat with a steady, even glow.

different temperatures, aren't we all? providing warmth and the occasional fire when necessary.

... ... ...

at least, most of us.

... ... ...

there are those individual flares that open our eyes and show the world beyond what we previously knew...

they illuminate for a brief moment, but then die out quickly, because a light that bright doesn't last forever...

there are also those fires that are so unique that they change the way we perceive what we already have, thus changing us just as much as those that expand our horizons...

... ... ...

but as long as you are breathing, there is always a little ember, no matter how cold or dark things may appear.

and that ember is all that you need to rekindle a blaze.

::: ::: :::

I need a brain recorder.

not the kind that take the external measurements, like electro-chemical activity, temperature, etc. etc.

no, I need a brain recorder that actually records thoughts and emotions.

it would be something that would automatically record something that you know you need recorded because it was one of those moments of genius and it is something that will probably leave your mind the second something (like a car cutting you off in traffic) crosses it...

the problem with writing ideas down is that it is quite difficult for written words to describe every feeling ever felt, not to mention the details, the subtleties of an idea.

personally, whenever I go back to an idea that I have written down, there is a 50/50 chance that I will not be able to pick up the previous fervor felt.

er... 60/40...

the problem is, the idea is so huge that I cannot hope to capture it on whatever little scrap of paper that I happen to have found, added to the fact that the second you stop thinking about an idea, it seeps away faster than [insert analogy here]

yeah...

so...

um.

nothing.

do your fingers just type something the second you get on a computer and start surfing the web?

user names and passwords and common openings and closings seem to just instantly appear when necessary because the motions have been done so often that they are automatic...

Please let me know if there are any questions, comments, or concerns.

Thanks!
Ryan

I almost don't think about who's who in movies anymore because then second it takes me longer that 5 seconds to figure out what movie a person has been in or who else starred in or the name of a movie I'm automatically in google...

actor's name site:imdb.com

if I meet someone for the first time I automatically google them just because, and maybe I'll get lucky and find their blog or what school they went to and then I'll be able to find something of interest from the depths of my knowledge base that might coincide with whatever information I have learned... all this in hopes to avoid awkward silences or lapses into trivial small talk...

essentially, all first meetings are interviews. you ask their name, what they do, where they are from, do they know this person, what sports, until you both stumble across a subject in which you both seem to be more than just semi-interested...

politics, comics, movies, gossip, blah blah blah...

you gotta start somewhere.

human interaction and all that. no man is an island... nope, I think most people are like urban sprawl. [I'll let you figure out that similie, since I'm not sure what I mean by it]

but, i digress...

... ... ....

so sometimes, I find that I am going to the internet for no reason.

I mean, I'll be thnking about something, then I will open up a browser and just stare at a blank page.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

kind of like walking around, er.. more like wandering around, and ending up somewhere you've never been and never really wanted to go.

it's cool...

but kind of pointless and, many times, fruitless...

... ... ...

habits are habits because you no longer realize that you are doing it. If you notice, maybe you notice for a second, then that part of you that doesn't give a [say "ship" while holding your tongue] tells the other part to STFU...

or not, but I imagine it that way...

seeing the fruits of labor or the completion of truly original [or cleverly derived] thoughts are exhilarating

I feel alive...

during those rare moments - which I guess aren't so rare for those of us that are more brilliant, but none the less - few and far between for me.

... ... ...

If you don't have it, you're on the other side...

now I'm just reaching.

arrgghhh...

I'm at one of those points where I am bouncing back and forth between thinking I am a genius to thinking I am an idiot...

you know.

unless you've never had the feeling that you might really be a genius...

and if you haven't, I feel sorry for you, because then you will never know how "we" feel once in a while...

or something.