babiegoose.com

I...
hate the rain and sunny weather...
and I...
hate the beach and mountains too...
oo ooo...
and I don.t like a thing about the city...
no, noo...
And I...
I...
I...
hate the countryside too!

you gotta keep 'em separated.

he-ey, don't pay no mind, you're under 18 and won't be doing anytiyiyme

he-ey, come on and play!

at what point can you start listening to songs that were played out a week after they were released?

I'm thinking about 7-10 years... because for some reason, and probably because I don't know which stations are which, in and around DC I've been hearing songs that I haven't heard since highschool.

so almost 10 years.

there are songs that will always remain cool, which never got played out but just quitely faded into the background (or oblivion)

but there are songs that were cool for a minutes, then just got camp, and eventually got annoying.

so I'm wondering when those annoying songs will ever be cool... if ever.

of course, this could also be a frame of reference thing.

there were a number of songs that I thought were terribly annoying in the 80's and 90's but if listened to now, they would be pretty cool...

if it weren't for the fact that embarssament accompanies knowing the lyrics (an harmonies) of a previously thought-of-as-annoying song...

(re: harold and kumar go to white castle - scene - "Hold On", Wilson Phillips)

you know the words.

but we all have our guilty secrets.

those songs that we sing at the top of our voice in the car when we are all alone, and then quickly turn down or turn off the radio when anyone is looking or listening.

I listen to pretty much all music.

except maybe for hate music or the like...

there is something that everyone can like in all forms of music - because seriously, to diss an entire genre by not giving it a chance is just dumb.

out of all the people that say, "I listen to everything, except country", how many people have actually listened to more than a few seconds of any of it, or maybe more than one song? because once you get past the whiny stuff it's just like any top 40 song...

you know, except for the label.

honestly, if I heard a few seconds of punk, classical, jazz, techno, or even pop and I was told to base my entire opinion of a genre on those few seconds, there is a strong psosibility that there would be no way in hell that I would listen to any music... (ignoring the fact that I was brought up learning and being around music most of my life)

we choose from what we are given, and if it is not given then we automatically dismiss it as a choice, because there are few people in the world (trust me, there are) that will venture outside their comfort zone...

call it fear, lazy, comfort, or whatever.

Even the people who claim to live outside of any comfort zone are really just not comfortable in a comfort zone, which then no comfort zone is really a comfort zone.

get it?

in any case, people like what they know, and they tend to avoid that which they don't know, but do what they have to because they must.

which is why holding hands is important, but must be used with discretion.

people are willing to go out of their zone if they trust the person leading them.

now, if they are lead out and then get beat down, you can bet dollars to donuts that they will use that life experience to never have to do it again...

but whatever.

I have wandered off topic.

again.

so maybe what I thought was annoying back then, really was just cool and I got tired of it, or maybe what I thought was annoying really was, and it will never ever come back.

but songs seem to be getting recycled at a much faster rate than before

in any case...

I'm waiting for someone to remake a classic...

and laugh when they screw it up completely.

until then, screw the radio and MTV can bite me...

I will stick to the 17+ gigs of mp3's (which is constantly growing, but is stored in an offshore, databank due to copyright laws, which I access through dial up AOL on my Mac via a static IP which is routed through 12 cities and two satellites... damn the man! you will never find me) and listen to them on my cd mp3 player in my car and my sony clie...

until something better comes along...

(and it doesn't rhyme with skypod)

Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

... ... ...

There is a difference between playing the game and knowing how to play the game...

the difference being that those that know how to play the game and choose to play the game are either doing it because they have no choice or they love the game, [and my actual opinion of the person depends on which game] and those that play the game [unknowingly] do it because they are nothing more than the pawns of those that know how to play.

imagine a grandmaster playing chess against a person who simply knows the moves, except in some games, the players get entangled in an intricate web from which many cannot escape and either become spiders or flies...

those who do not know they are playing the game become the fodder for those that do.

now when I say pawns, I do not simply mean easily discarded persons, no no no...

I would say pawns like cattle... some you need to kill off right away...

and others...

well, you fatten them up before you slaughter them

and others, well, sometimes they stick around long enough to have an epiphany...

... ... ...

in any case, those that play because they love it are either very ambitious or very passionate - maybe even both - those that play because they must are probably very smart or very lazy - maybe even both...

because to play the game because you love it is a treasure in itself, but to play the game because you must is a burden. This burden is accepted because perhaps there is a reason to your participation. Perhaps it is selfless. Perhaps it is selfish. In any case, you may or may not have a knack, but for whatever reason - you are there.

Those who love the game my not even realize they are playing, because it is as natural as breathing.

Those to which the game is a burden, they might feel like they are waiting in line to just get on the field, or perhaps feel like they are on the sidelines hoping to get a chance to play.

so then if there are players, there are managers, and managers get paid; therefore, someone pays them.

Owners, they pay managers. Owners are slaves to materialism or to power...

there is a vicious cycle, and I do not know where it begins.

It might be ingrained into our genetic structure now, but whatever, it's there.

it is a fact that money is required.

let us just start at the beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" [Gen1:1]

okay... fast forward a bit...

man finds a stick and a rock. he breaks the rock to make a spearhead, makes a spear, and then someone gives him food for the spear, soon he is making spears for the whole tribe and is getting fat.

now, lets take this spear maker, and say that he has enough of whatever he needs, food, fur, wood, rocks, women, whatever... now let us suppose he doesn't need anything for a while...

does he stop making spears? when someone wants a spear, does he refuse?

when people start to depend on you as a resource and then they lose the skill to do things themselves, then what happens?

society dynamics changes, and certain people with certain skills are elevated. they are elevated because what they do effects the whole of the tribe or whatever.

does he then share his secret so that he might not be the only one?

fast forward to the future.

now, we have all these advances in technology, we can communicate across the globe instantly. we can process massive amounts of messages, images, data in seconds, and yet we still have to work long hours, and be away from our families.

why?

because if you can do more, then more will be expected from you. if the capabilities are there then they expect you to make that coin.

we want it all and we want it all now.

shouldn't there be a point where all of this slows down. Where we start to create for the art instead of for the pocket?

I want to be that.

I wish I could be that.

but unfortunately, I don't believe that I am.

I believe that I am one a wolf, with or without a pack. One of the sharks romaing the seas...

because I do want it all.

because I do want it now.

because, for some deluded reason, in my mind, once you have everything, you need nothing material, and therefore desire nothing material, and there for you can truly be what you want to be because there is no excuse for you to not.

there is nothing to keep you from searching for Jesus. (He is everywhere, by the way - but that's something you need to do on your own)

there is nothing to keep you from playing sports for fun, or creating art for art.

... ... ...

idyllic.

it could never happen. having everything. because even if you have everything material you need, once you create something that no one else creates, all of a sudden there is something that someone cannot have. unless man can learn to be content with the talents he has, assuming he knows about his talents.

what if you did know everything? what if you could do anything? limitless means, limitless time, limitless access.

what would you do with it?

if everyone knew everything that everyone else knew and could do everything that everyone else could, then what would we have?

we would have the borg.

moving as one for one goal, to assimilate everything.

and yet we want to be equal when we are behind and when we are equal we want to be better.

this is the cycle.

probably why they call it a race.

everyone wants to be included, yet everyone wants to be exceptional.

this is a very depressing view of life, because it does not leave room for those who are content.

and those who are content do not have to voice their contentedness. why would they? it's only cause would be to make all of the malcontent notice that they are not being envied, not making others jealous.

... ... ...

Check your ego at the door, kiddo.

I say to myself...

You are not, by any means, perfect. You cannot judge others because you are not better than any one else, depsite what you might believe.

live what you know in your heart is true.

... ... ...

it's so hard to do what you know is right.

especially when everything else seems so much easier.

... ... ...

so I play the game. I play because I have to. I play because I can. I play because maybe someone will notice me.

maybe someone will notice me in a sea of people looking to be noticed.

... ... ...

maybe what I do will make a difference in someone's life.

maybe what others do will make a difference in mine.

... ... ...

that's crazy talk.

crazy to think that hasn't already happend. that I haven't changed others and that others haven't changed me.

we are a social species.

every moment we interact with someone else is a moment we are building the blocks that will eventual build the stairs to change for the better or the wall of the box in which we have chosen to live.

I want to see what is at the top of the stairs...

and a box is not going to get me there.

I am trying to find my mind.
I believe that it took off when I was eating dinner last night.

I couldn't find it this morning.

I awoke with a start. Although nothing woke me, my phone decided to ring exactly one minute after I was wide awake... albeit for only a few minutes.

it was my wife. I immensely enjoy when it is her voice that I hear first thing in the morning, and not some alarm or some pre-recorded, wake-up call voice.

I fell right back asleep, because my head hurt and it was only 6:30am.

my alarm went off 15 minutes later.

scratch that.

alarms.

I am a procrastinator.

that means in everything...

which includes waking up in the morning. Put it off until the last possible minute.

So I set three alarms. The wake up call. The hotel room clock. The cell phone.

These items form a triangle around my bed. The hotel phone to the right. The clock on the left. The cell phone on the TV stand toward the foot of the bed.

This requires me to move in three different directions, in hopes that I will move enough to get out of bed.

It worked the first time... like 5 years ago.

since then, all it does is allows me to practice moving about a room, practically physically memorizing the layout, with my eyes closed and with my mind off...

I think what I need to do, is put a row of alarms that lead to the shower, the final alarm being in the shower, which would then turn on, once the alarm was turned off.

that might help.

but then, there is that part in the back of my head...

or the front, rather...

that says, "Hey, you know, most people are sleep deprived. Why don't you just take these few precious moments you have to just allow yourself to be less sleep deprived than others."

Now, how can I possibly argue with such sound logic?

I'm pretty good at debating, but, man, when I know I'm wrong, I will concede...

so there you have it.

... ... ...

by the way. I found my mind this morning, after having that vitamin supplement orange drink that lorie got for me.

but I am still sleepy.

I'm not sure how it works, but I think maybe things that I haven't fully finished in my mind that might have been published might be less inconspicuous now as they were maybe before certain things might have been discovered...

maybe.

mind you.

which means not for certain, but might might actually be possible.

amazingly enough, as much as I do not like leaving things unfinished, there seems to be an amazing pile of unfinished things around me.

surprising? no, not really. I've finally succumbed to the apathy, which, upon further inspection, might not actually be something new.

I think I was living in a form of denial.the denial of the denial of the state.

so I am living with living with living with denying denial of the state.

of course, I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that I'm just talking out of my butt.

you know?

but hey, sometimes my butt might actually say something good. The more you kick out, the more likely something will actually be relavent.

then again, everything that comes out of most is just crap.

things seem very stressful at times.

what would life be without stress?

vacation.

but besides that, those things that are very stressful, they don't really amount to much in the long run.

but because everyone is forced to believe that every single thing that doesn't matter is the most important thing, the things that are the most important are the things that get overlooked.

people say that society is degrading. well, yes and no. There are two sides to every argument, but one side just might stay quiet long enough for the other side to think it's winning, and then come out, guns blazing.

or whatever.

life is a pendulum.

it is.

you are essentially stuck in the same spot, but you just swing here and there, not really going anywhere...

why?

because there really isn't anywhere to go.

for the most part, you are stuck here.

right here.

yeah, you can move, here, there, anywhere.

but you wherever you go. there you are.

looking for company or solitude.

you will find both.

but they almost never coincide with when you want them.

so we make due. doing what our heads or our hearts tell us, abiding by whatever morals we are so inclined to believe.

in the end, we will be judge (or if you don't believe in anything then it's just over) and what will our time on this plane have accomplished.

the continuation of our genetic material.
the passing along of our beliefs, our morals, our traditions.
the consumption of natural resources.

I can see why some people just live hedonistically. without any faith its really hard to see the point of anything.

but then, with faith, you really have to question the reason why you are doing something. do it or don't do it. it's ultimately your decision - because even if you let others decide for you, you are still letting them.

blah blah blah.

been there. done that.

on what do you focus when there is seemingly nothing left on which to focus?

faith, family, health...

you work and work and work to provide, for you family, because you do what you have to do so that they can have it easier.

you would think that if people were doing it right, then every family should have it easy by now.

but there is a reason for classes and whatever, because socialism promotes laziness, communism beed corruption, and captialism promotes greed.

humans are smart. dumb. adaptive. cunning. cowardly. ambitious. lazy. vindictive. compassionate.

a paradox.

it's tiring to think about the things that you maybe were supposed to be doing. thinking about your potential.thinking about for what you are qualified. for what is your purpose. what are you doing. and what you should be doing.

what would i do if I didn't have to worry about two things?

i don't know.

I'm too busy worrying about them to even think about what life would be like without worrying about them.

so here I go.

head down, teeth gritted, ready to get my hands dirty.

or dirtier as the case may be.

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need"

eh...

I've been brainwashed.

I need it.

I need to feel like a productive member of society.

I need to feel useful.

I need to feel in control.

but here's a secret.

there is no control.

productive means productive for someone else.

each fish pays a bigger fish.

and when you reach the apex...

you will see where all the money and power goes.

actually, at that point, money is no longer valuable. it is just a means of getting things done.

power is more important at that point.

the problem with power...

there is always someone with more power, and there is always someone looking to get the power from you.

so, if you were able to strip yourself of all desires, therefore relinquishing pride, knowledge, materials, power... you know - everything. then you would be what?

blessed maybe?

beatitudes and all...

so what is it?

swallow your sinful pride and be thankful for what has been provided.

focus on your faith and your family, and remember that your job, it's just a job.

you can find another one.

let he among us without sin be the first to condemn.

yesterday was probably one of the crappiest days I've had lately...

looking back at it, you know - from today - it probably wasn't so bad... but you know that wave of overwhelming that just engulfs you in a sudden rush... I was feeling that for about the whole afternoon to early evening yesterday.

if something is wrong, I try to handle it. that's what I do. I handle situations.

there are times when situations cannot be handled by me, either because of my inability or lack of availability.

well, it seemed that all of the situations yesterday decided to get a group rate on the ryan-can't-fix-this bus because everything I tried to do, lead me to a brick wall.

and given that my laptop was giving its death rattle (and at one point I thought I lost all of my data) I was rather flustered.

exasperated.

stressed.

I think the thought of losing all my data was the crack in the dam and everything were the little hits that brought the dam crashing.

fortunately, I was able to save off some data and get my laptop to tech support today... hopefully they will be able to get an image of my hard drive and I will not lose anything.

unfortunately for me, I am the type of person that has oodles of non-standard software and configurations.

why?

because I can.

because it's easier.

but whatever. It's gonna be a pain in the ass if I can't get my laptop today and if my data is lost.

eh.

oh well.

as I am on a spare computer, all I can do is IM, check e-mail and read blogs...

so.

here I go.

you know... sometimes, you just need to take two steps back to go one step forward...

or is it one step forward to go two steps back?

in any case.

I can feel all of the muscles that have been sorely neglected over the past few months.

did you know that playing sports actually requires running?

sometimes, it even requires falling!

who'da thunk it?

they should make bejeweled a sport. I rock - my top score is just a bit over 100,000 - though my average is around 70,000...

so I don't know where that leaves me as far as the world is concered, but in my head I'm pretty good, which is really all that matters... right?

I skipped lunch today.

I didn't mean to, but I was working and workin and working and all of a sudden it was 2:30pm

now it's like 5:30pm.

I've decided to take a mental break and type a blog because, dammit, that's what blogs are for.

for good times...

and bad times...

always by your side...

until you stop paying for your host or they shut down your blogsite.

... ... ...

yeah... so I will stop here.

listentoamovie.com

a definite life saver, because without it, my 10-12 hour days would seem much longer...

I have had the chance to revisit, at least audibly, movies which I either do not own or would not want to buy...

in any case, I have been listening to a number of stand up acts... kings of comedy, eddie murphy delirious...

it is amazing to me how much the material of today has changed...

maybe toned down, if you will, but no one gave two shakes about pissing anyone off in the 80's...

anyhow, today I found myself chuckling at the way eddie says the mf bomb in delirious...

I'd say it to myself under my breath and then laugh maniacly at myself...

and then bash my self in the head because of the stupid space that caused my script to destruct...

aaaand, I gotta get back to doing what is important...

you think you're secure.

there are user id's and masked passwords...

there are permission lists and restricted data...

there is 128-bit encryption...

there are monitoring and tracing programs...

... ... ...

and yet...

someone has to have all of the access.

you would think that these people are all checked out...

all authorized and trusted.

but no.

some of these people just happen to know more than the people who are authorized and trusted.

and these people are the people who set up the very infrastructure we all use every day.

the zeroes and ones than control the material world.

and the probability that all of the people with this knowledge and skill are all incorruptable...

is probably zero...

but we are blessed that people have morals or a sense of duty or honor...

that and there are laws...

and the fact that it is quite hard to stay anonymous.

... ... ...

but have no doubt that information is flying about...

everywhere...

all you need is the know-how to pluck it right out of the air...

and then not get caught.

... ... ...

and the not getting caught...

that's the hard part.

... ... ...

weird.

I just saw babiegoose.com translated into spanish by google.

it was actually funny, because there was a little spanish that was translated into spanish - which didn't look like it made sense... and the translated english translation of the spanish matched what was originally in spanish...

funny.

It just occurred to me that if any of the blogs were translated, and I made a play on words, then that is not going to be understood by the person reading the translation because the play on words does not come across the translation.

Like - "Papa de Vino" and "Papa Divino"

...

ok.

Punctuation and formatting can be very tricky.

especially when typing an e-mail.

depending on the person to whom you are corresponding, a misplaced or extra punctuation or capitalization can make you look like a intelligent and well written or just plain dumb.

for example, take the exclamation point.

alone, it is nothing more than a line and a dot.

but if you put it in a bubble next to a comic book character....

you get a wordless reaction which articulates the very essence of that moment.

you also have to be careful with the number of exclamation points used and behind what formatting.

"Hey!" - jovial, no danger here.

"HEY!" - more emphasis, an increased urgency, a rise in anger.

"HEY!!" - more anger, less urgency, increased violence potential

"HEY!!!" - wow. you should run if it's directed towards you...

now when mixed with other punctuation, the "!" can show shock...

observe:

"What?" - a simple inquiry, maybe a response to a lapse in auditory functionality...

into...

"What?!" - obvious incredulity, dumbfounded response due to an external action or occurence.

then, with formatting...

"WHAT?!" - this is usually reserved for the "Wow-I-can't-believe-this-just-happened-because-I-never-though-anyone-could-be-that-stupid-but-here-we-are" moments, which is usually accompanied by an increase of the ambient anger, cross looks, and the increased potential for physical violence...

now, let us look at more positive examples...

"Thanks." - without the exclamation point, there is a sense of finality. nothing to turn up the corners of the mouth. exasperated or exahusted. polite, but almost sardonic, except for not so much, as sardonic would require more inflection of tone and an accompanying look...

"Thanks!" - appreciation. enough to know that it is more than just politeness. Although overuse can lead to deprication of appreciated sentiment.

"Thanks!!" - hey man, I really appreciate it.These are saved for the times when someone steps up that extra notch or does something very special.

"Thanks!!!" - ok. we are coming close to that line that is between appreciativeness and overenthusiastic, superficial sentiment. use very rarely, as overuse will probably make you sound (in your text) like a ditzy cheerleader...

"THANKS!!!!" - aaaand the line is crossed. All caps and more than three "!" just looks over done, too much, excessive, and whatever else means over the top...

... ... ...

elipses...

"..."

some could argue (correctly) that I might use these too much...

well...

I probably do.

but I've touched on this before, so I will not get into it again right now.

... ... ...

the comma...

","

very important, as these litte guys dictate flow.

they are dangerous, though, as they can easily be over used, and, many times, incorrectly.

But, if you know how, meaning you understand, to split up a sentence correctly, as opposed to incorrectly, then, if you would kindly notice, you can have a perfectly, if not fluidly, structured sentence, too.

... ... ...

the period

"."

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

having a record of all that was IM'd is a very important tool.

it is.

There are numerous occaisions where windows have to be closed at a rapid pace to avoid clutter and to maintain appearances of productivity, so messages can get lost.

addresess...

phone numbers...

instructions...

important details that would have completely been overlooked or forgotten had the logging not been in place.

I only wish I could have someone, akin to a court reporter - although only for my benefit (not to the benefit of others) - typing down my every word so that I might be able to reflect upon what had been said.

I probably would be able to keep track of all my goings-on instead of relying on my memory, which I regret to say, is like a steel trap...

with a few teeth missing.

as I said, the transcript of my conversations would be for my own personal use; to double check conversations so that I can verify the veracity of my statements when I am not altogether sure of their integrity, while I feign implicit knowledge.

Also, to reference what was said to me, as a record so that I might be able to reiterate the exact words to the person who, for one reason or another, might have had a lapse in memory.

to be fair, though, everyone should have their own personal "conversation reporter", if you will... then each conversation will have redundant records of what was said.

It is important to note, however, that the conversation reports must record what was said and not what each person thought s/he had said...

this is the precise reason why miscommunication occurs.

one person thinks something, but doesn't exactly say, exactly, what s/he means. then the other person hears something, but doesn't exactly remember what, exactly, was said...

it's like the telephone game with four people, but each person is partially deaf and cannot completely pronouce each syllable...

from brain to mouth to ear to brain...

something gets lost in the translation...

... ... ...

of course, the conversation reporters would have to be non-entities, hence not really people, because they could never be allowed to interact within the conversation. if they participate in the conversation, then they are no longer objective, and therefore any testimony would be deemed in admissible by me.

or whoever.

... ... ...

I guess, then, everyone should wear a bug with infinite storage space or something connected wirelessly.

retention periods for this would have to be at least 50 years, so storage capacity requirements could easily be in the yotta's of bytes, depending on recording quality... of course, if transcribed, text is easily compressible and searchable, so we might just need exabytes...

processing speeds would need to be ridiculous though... quantum level probably.

... ... ...

let's see...

6 billion people, 50 year retention period, 7000 words/day for women, 2000 words/day for men...

which is 4.86 words/minute for women and 1.39 words/minute for men..

At any given minute I'm guessing that 2/3's of the coversations out there are woman to woman (both women can probably talking simultaneouly and still hear what each other is saying), 1/6 is woman to man (but really 19/20 of that conversation would be just the woman talking), 1/6 is man talking to man - but as men usually talk one at a time...

so...

[6 billion * 2/3 * (4.86*2)] + [6 billion * 1/6 * 19/20 * 4.86] + [6 billion * 1/6 * 1/20 * 1.39] + [6 billion * 1/6 * 1.39]

which breaks down to...

6 billion * {[2/3 * (4.86*2)] + [1/6 * ((19/20 * 4.86) + (1-1/20 * 1.39))]}

which is...

45 billion words/minute...

37.5 billion words/minute is what it would words per minute are if you just add the average woman and men words per minute, which is close... but I think the 45 billion is more accurate...

so average number of letters per word is 5.3...

each letter being a byte...

222 gigabytes per minute...

so...

312 terabytes per day...

which is...

111 petabytes per year...

with a 50-year retention period...

that would be about 5.4 exabytes...

give or take due to rounding...

so given 1,073,741,824 gigs per exa...

that would take 5.4 million 200-GB hardrives...

... ... ...

and that's just to store it...

you would need a lot more than that to transcribe it from recorded voice...

... ... ...

so I wonder... how well can Big Brother really be listening? How good can echelon really be?

he's gotta be gunning for you, I bet...

just, don't get on his bad side I guess...

... ... ...

seriously...

don't.

well, if you know where he was on 4/10/2002

you can find him here...

I found my friggin car parked at my office...

that's how cool this is...

... ... ...

they blocked out the rooves around the white house though...
I guess so you can't see where the snipers and stuff are...

national security and what not...

pretty freakin sweet.

... ... ...

I thought I'd be responsible.

I thought I'd be good about it.

You'd think that it would be fool proof, you'd think that I would be smart enough to not screw up a simple tax return.

simple.

yeah, it's about as simple as.

... ... ...

so I bought TurboTax, I did it early. I got Lorie's info, I got my info, and I itemized like I'm supposed to - you know, because we are homeowners now - and I figured out that we should get about as much as we both got last year.

I did this in the middle of february.

and now, I just got a letter that we are about to get audited.

so the first year I ever try to do taxes on my own, I get dinged.

what the hell is this?

I have no clue what to expect, but I've seen people talking about these things on TV.

they don't seem to be all that much fun.

I hope I can talk my way out of this one...

... ... ...

boy...

am I gonna get yelled at... Read more.