babiegoose.com

A carpenter and a rescuer, an animal trainer and sometimes villain, a plumber, an adventurer, a referee, a golfer, a tennis player, and a go-kart racer, and all-around gamer, Mario Mario is the supreme renaissance man, being both the everyman and the superman.

At four feet five inches, Mario weighs a whopping 140 pounds (but you can bet that is mostly muscle mass... which would explain his uncanny jumping and punching ability - and not to mention is ability to defy the laws of physics!)

Mario started out as a carpenter in Brooklyn, where he was dating his lovely girlfriend, Pauline... but tragedy would strike, and little did Mario know that his life would forever be changed.

Enter Donkey Kong.

Simians and humans and never the twain shall meet... except when one steals the other's girlfriend. Little did DK know that the little carpenter would have the brass to take him on, and eventually, take him out.

A harrowing ordeal like that could change anyone...

and so did it change our carpenter. No longer would he sit idly by waiting for another human female to be abducted. Mario would take matters into his own hands.

or cage rather.

But incarcerating Donkey Kong does have its share of risks.

Donkey Kong Junior, or Diddy as we will know him later, decides that daddy does not deserve detention. Mario, however, has other plans. Armed with mechanical alligator .snap jaws., egg dropping birds, and sparks of electricity, the carpenter tries to stop the young ape from reaching his father, but to no avail.

Mario is seriously injured as Diddy Kong makes off with Donkey Kong...

As you can imagine, such a defeat could leave any many down in the dumps, or in the sewers perhaps.

With Donkey Kong escaped, Pauline gone, and desparate for consolation and support, Mario becomes a plumber and turns to his brother, Luigi. Together they do some good old-fashioned male bonding by stomping on turtles, flies, crabs, and pockets of flames (all the while collecting coins) in the sewers of Brooklyn.

Who would have guessed that those pipes would lead the two to the Mushroom Kingdom...

There they discover their true calling, eating mushrooms and flowers, talking to fungus beings, smashing turtles, beetles, more mushrooms, giant bullets, fish, and who knows what else, whilst trying to save a Princess they barely know from a giant fire-breathing, spiked turtle. (the only difference between Bowser and Gamera is that Bower can talk and Gamera can fly...)

This becomes the theme for pretty much the rest of their lives. But not only do Mario and Luigi pick up more friends and enemies through their adventures, the have honed their bodies into that of a super human athlete - capable of infinite periods of running at full speed, jumping heights and distances unheard of, and have gained the ability to change their trajectory in mid-air. There are also rumors that the two like to dress up like animals and have discovered the secret behind non-mechanical, human flight. All of this, and they still manage to maintain their, um, figures.

Although Mario and Luigi have detailed their chronicles in the Mushroom Kingdom very accurately - from the different go-kart races to all the different parties, accounts vary from various sources (my theory is that they found some shrooms in the sewer and are now perpetually tripping).

Mario and Luigi have also been spotted on the golf course and the tennis courts, and who could have missed Mario as the referee for the Mike Tyson versus Little Mack championship title bout?

The current whereabouts of Mario and Luigi are unknown, but it is said that they moved from their apartment in Brooklyn to a swank Palace in the Mushroom Kindom.

... ... ...

I have rediscovered Super Mario 64.

It came out when I was a senior in highschool and was much harder the first time I played it that it is now...

but then again, is that not the case for everything?

well... mostly.

In any case, I have logged about 5 hours on this game over the past week, and I am tremendously farther than I was eight years ago when I was five hours into the game.

Of course, I know the answers to all of the puzzles now, as well as a few tricks, so you could say that I am comparing apples and oranges...

Fifty stars and a few more Bowser encounters and I will win...

again.

"Thanka you, so much for to playinga my game!"

at any particular moment, anything could be going through my head.

For some reason, everything I come to my Create New Entry screen, I have the urge to type something stupid like "Monkeys flying out of my butt" or "Up your nose with a rubber hose."

No particular reason, save most times I have nothing interesting to share, but that probably has to do with the fact that I am feeling pretty shallow right now.

the two things that have been the priority of my mind is beating my personal best time to finish Super Mario 64 (I thought it would be much harder than it actually is - but that can be attributed to the fact that I still sort of remember where a lot of things are) and getting our house fixed up before Lorie sees how trashed it is... er... not so much trashed as unorganized...

I cannot converse about current events or what is on the television since I really do not care at the moment.

blah.

that is it on this. I will back post this, because it is just blah.