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Did you know that the Super Big Gulp has a larger volume than the average human stomach?

I would assume the bucket of pop they give you in a super sized meal at McDonalds is up there as well...

I was rather famished at lunch today, as I skipped my customary oatmeal and hot chocolate breakfast so I decide to make a trek to Arby's (because different is good)...

I typically get two roast beef sandwiches, on a part of a "meal" - I do not know how it is classified as a meal, really, because it contains roast beef (meat), the bun and fries (starch), oil, and sugar, water, and additives... there are no essential nutrients contained therein, only calories, or more accurately - too many calories - with which to sustain the body for some time...

but I was feeling adventurous and I got the chicken fillet - which has [gasp] lettuce! (adventurous, except for not really, because I think the chicken is the next thing down on my list...)

I went back to my apartment and ate my fries with, you guessed it, ketchup (ketchup has lycopene - a chemical that can turn you into a werewolf - and save males from prostate problems! But I think the werewolf thing is more fun.)

I was tempted to get a roast beef sandwich along with the chicken sandwich, but I stopped. Fortunately for me, the "meal" as satisfactory, and I did not require further sustenance. I also have the appetite of a little girl, which is probably why I ate four tagalongs and three thin mints as dessert.

Now if I add of the calories, I should have enough to last me the rest of the week.

I hear I should drink water... but I do not trust the water in Midland... (except for the fact that I am all out of V8 splash and water is the only thing keeping me from dehydrating in my uberdry apartment...)

Maybe I should pull a "Signs" and leave glasses of water lying everywhere and leave the thermostat at 85 degrees F in hopes that it will "humidify" my apartment...

or I could buy a humidifier...

but that would be silly... because I would have to pay for that...

... ... ...

and so concludes my profundus postus maximus...

or in the Aztec: mostitlan profounditlan postitlan...

... ... ...

your face...

so in my youthful days...

you could say that I was an anger ball... I had a short temper, I never listened, and I always had to be right, even when I was wrong...

well... some may argue that this has not changed (but they would be wrong... I listen now and I accept when I am wrong)

In any case, there was this one instance, in high school - you know before the internet was prevalent (but had less inappropriate content... maybe) and Color Me Badd was cool...

ok... Color Me Badd might have never been cool... but I had both CD's so does that make me uncool? I think not.

Whatever. In highschool, I was coming off of a bad beat at one of the... ahem... quiz bowl tournaments... (moderator made a bad call, and cost us the points to win the match, thus losing us the tournament)... and this car was parked a mere inch from mine, thus not allowing me to enter my car from the driver's side.

The culmination of my anger of losing and the nerve of this jerk parking so close without leaving me a can opener manifested into the action of me keying the car to hell...

I think I might have even put a hole in it...

and now... a whole... um... ten years later, when I have a much better grasp of my emotions... sort of... my keys have taken the opportunity to lash out.

and I have been keyed by my own keys...

and I bleed.

Vengeance is a dish best served cold...