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the denoument...

where the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place...

another monumental moment...

this is but the first, or perhaps second, in the series of chapters that dot my twenties...

yeah, the second...

it is strange sense when something that was so long in planning is nigh. Both proud and humbling.

exciting and terrifying.

happy...

and sad...

As much faith as I had that I knew the Lord would take care of Lorie and me, I was still scared (just a little) because the moves we were making were so very frightening...

on many different levels.

After manuevers of that degree, the inconsequential things all but disappear, bringing a chuckle and a sigh as they are remembered for what they are truly.

how we love to focus on the drama of our lives, while many times blocking out the deepest moments...

(and when I say we, I guess I really mean me, since I cannot possibly know what you are thinking)

how often do we find ourselves voicing our complaints about the little problems in life, you know, the ones we know we can handle? we find that we are sometimes to scared to share the more pressing, the more real issues of our lives because deep down we are afraid that we just might not be able to handle it...

when our real problems comes to a head and we solve them, do we not tend to try to forget about them as quickly as possible? The most difficult times are hidden away because we do not want to remember how frightened we were. No one sits around and reminisces about the time they almost died or about how they were robbed, regardless of how it turns out. We do not, because we know, at that moment, our worst fears were coming true...

we know that if we could talk about it, then we were not truly afraid...

unless someone else brings it up, but we still do not dwell...

right?

We celebrate the victories we knew we could win because they assure us of our known abilities, because we had the confidence and had a safety net of sorts to catch us if we fall... or fail...

but the "death-defying" leaps that must be made time and again, shake us to our cores and leave us exhausted...

yes we cheer, but it is certainly not the same.

we are changed.

it was a battle, not a game.

God has helped us through and given us a new presecription with which to view the world.

and the suddenly the picture is much bigger.

and the little things fall away...

... ... ...

the more we know, the more we realize we do not know.

it should be easy to be humble.

just open your eyes and see...

... ... ...

ah, but that is the hard part...

seeing what is as opposed to how we think it is.

... ... ...

hey.

if you figure that one out.

let me know, ok?

... ... ...

then we have to figure out what to do once we know what we see is true.

but I think that will be a little easier.

... ... ...

it is easier to set things up, once we know how we want to knock them down.