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in the attempt to be as vague as possible...

there are certain things that you must not view a certain way. Other things must be viewed a specific way and then it can be justified, but only if the specific way is really the way in which you view it.

then there are times when you must just do what it is you must do, regardless of any outside factors. When you come to the times were you should not do what it is that you think you should do, do not do it, but you probably will not know until after. And conversely, when you come to the times were you should do what it is that you think you should not do, do it. Again, hindsight is 20/20.

In all cases, what you do or do not is most decidedly up to you and you alone, and the consequences of those actions will ultimately be yours.

... ... ...

I need to think through that which I am doing in order for me to know what I think I should do...

because that is where I get into trouble...

when I do not think.

and in the end, I will go with whatever I think I should do and what happens after that I will leave up to Him.

think of it that way...

<-- edited from 2003-07-30 11:59:00 - life is a popularity contest - there is no doubt about it folks - say what you will, but everything is based on the mob's perception. It has changed a whole lot since high school though - no longer are the "cool" people popular - nope, in the real world you need a talent, any specific talent that is useful to someone more powerful - and believe me, whoever you are, there is always someone more powerful. The thing is, in the real world, you will need to BS a bit, but you have to becareful, because at any moment you BS can backfire and you get covered with shit. Too much of anything (except God and love - but since God is love, it is the same thing) is not good... the better you are at balancing work, life, BS, and whatever else you need to - chances are you will be popular. Failure to balance these will make you unpopular somewhere - which leads to excessive stress, which leads to white hair, which can ultimately lead to the unraveling of the basket in which our lives were situated. (Not that white hair will lead to this all by itself - white hair is merely a potential by-product of stress - excessive stress is the actual cause) But see, without a little stress, we become lazy, and no one likes a lazy bastard, except for when they are partying with one, but afterwards all that is left is the stigma of a lazy bastard, and therefore we lose our popularity. Also, it doesn't really matter how smart your are or how talented you are, you need to have something that people can use, because that is what people do... use... I don't care what your IQ is, if you cannot use your intelligence or talent to somehow, in any way, increase the utility in the world then you are useless and useless people are not popular... -->I think other people have touched on this, but whatever, its on my mind so it is going here...

we walk around our jobs with our job faces on and for many of us, our job faces is different from our non-job faces. we do not show the office all of our little idiosyncrasies and definitely not our most personal feelings. so our conversations at work are very high level, previews, really, to the depth of our character (assuming we have depth of character) we discuss work, weather, movies, sports, TV shows, colleges, high schools, cute little anecdotes that really do not reveal all that much into our lives, etcetera, etcetera...

these are the topics that break us into deeper conversations, the ones that will identify you with that person and vice versa, because frankly, if the introduction is brief and there is no real conversation, that person's introduction is really just courtesy and will most likely be forgotten...

as in the case of me:
"[insert random conversation], oh by the way, I'm Ryan" [shakes hand]

"um, yeah, I'm _____ - we've already met, remember?"

[DOH! dude, if I remembered then why would I introduce myself to you again?] "Oh yeah! At ______! we were _____ during the _____ and ______ was discussing _____"

That usually does not happen to me more than once per person with whom that happens, but there was one guy I introduced myself to like three different times because his face never stuck in my head. I never had any form of conversation with him, he was merely just there when I was talking to other people around him. But after the third time I was really embarrased, so now I remember his name and face...

in any case, as trivial as these lite-versions of relationships can be, they are very important if you want to move up in a company that is rife with office politics and red tape, who you "know" is just as important as what you know. Apparently, the more people who know you (in a positive light) the better it is for you, careerly speaking that is (pardon my neologism)...

and that it is not only hard work but opportunities that will move you along your career path. and you need the right contacts to do that.

so impressions are very important...

but I would rather that who you know would be less a factor than what you know, whether or not you do it well, and the end results.

alas, alack...

that is not the world in which we live...

and wishing cannot make it so.