babiegoose.com

i have been reaching points of mental fatigue lately...

i need to turn off my brain for a while and just be stupid.

We should all take time out of our overly important, intellectual, emotional, analytical, introspective, thought-provoking lives and just be dumb.

otherwise, with what would we have to gauge our moments of sheer and utter genius?

I suppose there are always those who are condemned to a life of stupidity, but natural selection should weed those people out. (That is, of course, you do not buy into my theory that those of higher intellect farm those of less fortunate presence of mind, so that there will be a large crop of individuals that are easily controllable.)

so, I am off now...

sometimes you have something important to share...

sometimes you don't...

to be me...
~Five For Fighting

I was driving today (for the first time in four days) and I pondered the complexities of Superman.

The dichotomy of his identity, the biological source of his powers, his ability to fly, his choice of costume, and his undiminished notion of good versus evil.

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts, absolutely."

Now the reason the Lord has not granted me Superman (i.e. demigod like) powers is simply because I would have neither the discipline nor patience to use these powers responsibly...

It is quite amazing that the family values of a couple in Smallville, Kansas, could assuage any potential onslaught from the powerful being from another planet.

I would almost believe that the evil that is so apparent in human nature does not exist within the Kryptonian.

But .they. would have us believe otherwise.

Then again. a pair of glasses keeps the rest of the world from figuring out Clark Kent is Kal-El.

Sometimes the best place to hide is in the wide open.

.I.m not that naïve.
men weren.t meant to fly.
with clouds between their knees.

Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start...

what keeps you from your true calling?
I see the fire in your eyes and I see it in your heart...
Do you simply lack the courage or support to go follow your path?

Take heart, child...

If you fall down seven times, get up eight times.

footsteps in the sand, and all that...

sure, you can get by doing just enough to get by...

But you'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart...

but remember this...
if you need a hand from another...
there's something that...
that can't compare...
to any other...

you are far...

... ... ... Read more.

clear your head for a minute... and drop everything...

my life is pretty uncomplicated, you know... now that I think about it.

sometimes I get the feeling that I feel like my life is a labyrinth, with obstacles at every turn...

there are obstacles, but I am starting to get the feeling that they really do not amount to anything, and thus my life is less lke a labyrinth, but like a tunnel...

but then the tunnel opens up to become a bridge...

then an open road...

I may very well be in one of my unstressed and completely optimistic moods right now...

but at least I can capture moments like these...

"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do" ~Jack Sparrow

and to elaborate on that... what a man wants to do and what a man does not want to do...

... ... ...

entering divergent train of thought...

hee hee hee

I am training right now, this moment...

and I can yell at everyone in the room, but they cannot hear me...

and then I laugh maniacally...

and then I yell some more, because I can...

... ... ...

so there is a guy named kenneth in this training...

and whenever the facilitator recognizes him by say "Kenneth?"

I bust out with "WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH!"

bur he cannot hear me...

so I laugh like a fool.

hahahahahaha

... ... ...

if I did this while sitting in front of these people, I am quite sure they would expel me from the room, and perhaps fire me...

hahahahahaha

... ... ...

so getting back to how the path forward looks pretty clear...

... ... ...

sorry... lost train of thought...

I will drop you off here...

... ... ...

raincheck?

there is an advantage of being able to do training from the comfort of your own home.

you do not have to fight through the mess called the freeway. you do not have to freeze your tushy off going from house to the car, from the car to the building, and vice versa.

the disadvantage is that you do not leave the couch for 12 hours. (some people might not see this as a disadvantage) you have to remove the wall of snow that has replaced the driveway. you have to excavate your car from said wall and scrap sheets of ice from the vehicle's glass...

... ... ...

and why do rainy days and mondays get people down...

well...

besides the obvious.

... ... ...

my knees hurt from sitting indian-style for so long...

that must mean I drink too much pop...

because I cannot be getting too old...

:-P

... ... ...

I have yet to remove the snow.

:-(

I am currently participating in online training.

online, as in everyone is in a different spot, and we are using a type of net meeting place - looking at powerpoint presentations, taking short quizes, reading word documents and acrobat files...

fun stuff... but it is quite strange hearing voices in my head that I do not recognize.

the only difference though, is that I can turn these new voices off... but if I miss something I could get into some trouble. so I have to actually listen to them...

people get commited for listening to voices in their heads...

gotta go...

actual reality...

imagine you discover something about yourself... say, like, where ever you go, everything organic withing a certain radius of you gets incinerated.

and you cannot control it.

you are not a bad person.

you do not wish this on anyone.

you do not want to be the cause of this pain.

but the simple fact is:

you are.

Ultimate X-Men has reimagined the X-Men line and taken it to a darker, and arguably, more realistic (or maybe more cynical) level.

I quite enjoy the series - of which, to date, I have a complete run. But as I am letting my subscriptions run out, there will be 3 more books until I completely stop buying comics forever.

maybe.

:-P

in any case, in this last issue, we find a boy whose mutant abilities manifest themselves and essentially annihilate a large part of his town.

all the trees, all the plants, all the animals, all the people, within his abilities range of contact, combust from the toxins released by his body.

talk about getting the short end of the stick.

Wolverine, in all his healing factored glory, is the only one who can get close to the boy - which he does, only to eliminate him.

Big picture. humans versus mutants. bad for image if mutant kills entire town. etc., etc.

It was not his fault.

But what can he do?

What could anyone do?

Could anyone help him?

If it were me...

what would I do?

Suicide is bad.

But to give your life for another is a great act of virtue.

But to take your life for another...

Then to take a life for another...

or many others...

... ... ...

I am certainly glad I do not have to make a decision like this.

I pray that I would never have to.

... ... ...

in the end, he conceded to the fact that he was about to be killed because of someone else's idea of the bigger picture.

... ... ...

it just got me thinking, is all...

you were always around
inside my backpack
rattling and rolling
but alas, but alack

today when I found
I needed your help
you left me alone
a whimpering whelp

my shoulder it aches
from what, tis unknown
the muscles are sore
maybe brusied to the bone

whenever I move
pain shoots through my limb
my strength just gives out
my vision grows dim

I searched and I searched
find you I did not
so then I gave up
and let my arm rot

if I don't move
the pain disappears
but the second I shift
my eyes fill with tears

I surrender for now
for now I concede
at least there's no break
at least I don't bleed

you're lost to my sight
you may be just stored
I looked all around
but then I got bored

you're lost when I need you
you're there when I don't
oh look, you're expired
so take you, I won't

... wandering around the forest, underbrush scratching at the leather straps at his ankles, the boy comes to a faintly visible trail. The day turns to dusk as the trail takes the youth deeper into the forest and eventually past a large boulder. In the fading light he notices traces of an ancient path leading from his current path directly through the mass of rock. The young adventurer quickly climbs over the mound of granite, which over the years has been covered with leaves, vines, and roots, in hopes to see the destination of the faded route but sees none.

He examines the boulder for several minutes, prodding and pushing in several areas, but the rock is solid and set and has obviously been in place for ages, as the surrounding trees have lain its foundations over and around the stone.

Deliberately, the explorer pulls out a small, spherical object from his pouch, as the sun races away almost in apprehension of the black orb's effect. With a quick strike of steel and flint, sparks shoot from the tail of the sphere, which he then quickly places at the base of the boulder.

Just as the boy hurries behind a large tree, a thunderous clap resounds throughout the forest, silencing all manner of creatures inhabiting the vicinity. The ancient rock has been transformed to scattered rubble. The sun's journey past the edge of the horizon completes, allowing light to emanate from within the hole left from the destruction of the bomb.

Edging slowly towards the breach, the youth peers inside and sees two torches burning within a deep chamber, sealed for an eon or more. The boy enters the chamber and is simultaneously hit with the musty smell of time and the overwhleming presence of magic.

A creature, sits quietly, slightly beyond the reach of the torches' light. A worn cloak rests upon the hunched shoulders of the sleeping, dark, red being, the flickering light revealing porcine features and protruding tusks on the creature's face. Its quiet grunts bounce off the chamber walls, creating the sensation of phantom monsters around the chamber.

The chamber floor is covered with a course sand which allows the boy to move around almost silently in the chamber. From the floor of the chamber, the torches are revealed to be magical in nature. Levitating yellow and orange flames dance around a red core, bathing the room in its warm glow. A glimmer is evident in the sand between the two floating blazes.

slowly, the adventurer moves toward the sparkling object in the sand. With a breath, he blows the loose ground from the item revealing a large jewel.

And the aged moblin's eyes snap open.

... ... ...

:can you keep a secret?

-like so many things in life, it depends.

:depends on what?

-what the information is, who it affects, the degree of importance, the consequences of betraying the confidence...

:why should that matter?

-because it does. is the secret kept if the source is not revealed or if the information is subtly passed along? if someone is hiding something from someone, but that information (or lack thereof) would hurt someone else, should it really be a secret?

:what about keeping your word?

-if the person is adamant that the secret be a secret, then it should be honored to the point of crisis. obviously if the secret can save or protect someone, that secret should be revealed, with discretion of course. if the person says a quite casual "don't tell anyone" and the information is more gossip than clandestine, common sense should be employeed.

so for the most part - shut up.

... ... ...

The decrepit moblin's glare finds the boy next to the jewel and speaks.

"I have been waiting for you, Link." Link looks at the moblin with suspicion and surprise.

"Take the jewel. It will help you on your quest..." adds the creature. Before Link has a chance to respond, the creature vanishes from sight.

As Link picks up the jewel, wind rushes through the room whispering...

"shhhhhhhhhhh... it'sssss a sssssseeeeeeecret..."

well not really...

two of my cousins each have daughters, one mallory and one olivia, and apparently they are famous "sisters" although they are not really sisters...

there is a really cute and sweet backstory tothe "Famous Sisters" but I will not get into it because, well... you would have to meet the two to understand how it was really cute and sweet...

I think anna has a picture somewhere...

or not...

in any case, the photographers Lorie and I have chosen for our wedding have put our engagement pictures up on their website...

it has been up for quite some time now... like a few months, but I just thought I would share it...

um...

now.

... ... ...

I have been trying to remember something that I was going look up online, but I cannot seem to recall.

... ... ...

dammit.

I cannot remember.

... ... ...

I give up.

... ... ...

if you help me... I think we can find the point together... I seem to have lost it somewhere.

"I just like to push buttons"

true.

on our way to the airport this morning (lorie is going to texas), lorie and I were discussing how she is like a guy and ignores the manuals for stuff.

I know when I have a new gadget, I almost always forego reading the manual for the joy of experiencing the puzzle of a new toy.

What does this button do? and this? and this? and... oops!

The manual gets cracked open when the tinkering no longer produces the desired results.

but I do enjoy pressing and and all buttons and figuring stuff out...

except for any red buttons...

"Tell you what I do like though. A killer. A dyed in the wool killer! Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun." ~Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg

but the same can be said of people - you know, about pushing their buttons...

I seems to have the knack for knowing which buttons to push, and whih ones not to push.

some I push indiscriminately, and other buttons I handle delicately until needed, and other buttons - well - I save those for later when they are ripe or "convenient" to push... social and/or psycholigical manipulation, and you will never know from where I will come... that is, of course, unless you are better at it than i... you know who you are.

but, do I really want people to not know from where I am coming?

I will mislead you immediately.

two reasons.

one, I find it funny. You may not, and no one else may not, but it my head, it is probably one of the funniest things to me until the next time I do it.

when I get tired of it, I will probably stop. maybe.

two, to see how convincing I can be... but this is double edged... boy-who-cried-wolf type of thing. but I usually give up the charade immediately after I know the outcome, so most people know I am serious if I represent that I am.

and three (so I can't count) it is a really neat way to break the ice. Throwing people off guard and then righting them gives them a sense of comfort that was not there previously. Of course, you must be practiced in this craft - because you can easily fall on your face (but I guess that is how you will learn, padawan - just do not follow the path of the dark side... for once you begin down that path, return you will not...)

... ... ...

I made waffles for my team today.

my last time to make waffles for this team.

it is almost sad.

but I am not sappy, so yeah... it was almost.

they are good people though, but I need to move on, I need to grow.

... ... ...

"I need to potty." ~ Wakko Warner

"elelator go down the hooooole" ~ Baby Plucky Duck

there are wraiths floating around the internet.

they leave comments on blog entries (older ones, mind you, so few people will actually see them) leaving links so that I can squander my money on online casinos or enlarge certain body parts...

the concept is simple, the execution - slight, the outcome - maybe 1 person in a million will suckered in by these ghostly ploys. (so altogether about 350 people in the US...) So really, all it is doing is pissing-off the rest of the population.

spam... telemarketers... junk mail...

the only kind of spam I like is pan fried with rice.
the only kind of telemarketer I like is an ex-telemarketer.
the only kind of junk mail I like has samples of cereal.

otherwise, I would like to keep my stuff as clear of that as possible.

how do these specters of the web find my comment boxes?

how do I stop them?

how does one stop anything?

is it pious because it pleases the gods or does it please the gods because it is pious.

one can neither prove nor disprove the existence of a higher power - that is why we have Faith.

one cannot consume terribly made coffee - this is why we have cream and sugar.

do ghosts exist?

ok.

do I think it was a ghost that spammed me?

no.

would I rather it have been a ghost.

yes.

at least that would give me something cool to rant and rave about...

"Come, we shall have some fun now!" thought Alice. "I`m glad they`ve begun asking riddles - I believe I can guess that," she added aloud.
"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" said the March Hare.

"Exactly so," said Alice.

"Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on.
"I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least - at least I mean what I say - that`s the same thing, you know."

"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "Why, you might just as well say that `I see what I eat` is the same thing as `I eat what I see`!"
"You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that `I like what I get` is the same thing as `I get what I like`!"

"You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, "that `I breathe when I sleep` is the same thing as `I sleep when I breathe`!"

once upon a time (today), I had peaches and cream oatmeal (of the Quaker Oats brand - that Quaker sure gets around!).

I added more water (3/4 cup) than I was supposed to (1/2 cup) - but I did that on purpose.

I put it in the microwave (in a bowl silly - express cook, 1 minute).

It (the oatmeal in the bowl) almost overflowed.

so I stopped the microwave (after 44 seconds).

the dried peaches got really big after about five minutes of sitting in watered down oatmeal (but after that, the oatmeal seemed less watered down)

after another couple of minutes, it was the right consitency (porridgy - not soupy).

so I ate it (at this point it was not nearly as hot as it was when it came out of the microwave).

... ... ...

and the prince no longer had high cholesterol (which is really a misleading statement as the prince probably never had high cholesterol - but he will if he keeps eating lots of trans-fatty acids).

and they (whoever) lived happily ever after.

the end.

... ... ...

and this will probably be the highlight of the morning...

of life...

for me...

God
love
family
people
music
work

in no particular order...

everything seems to revolve around these...

in my thought and in my words...
what I have done, and what I have failed to do...

I seem to be limiting myself.

yeah, but then you get into the whole narrow-deep versus broad-shallow debate, and I do not have any energy to go there.

but is this not the reason for what this medium (blog) is used? for stating opinions based on facts and then waiting for someone to nibble and then pounce?

blogs seem to be a place for people to display their literary talents, astute observations, photographs, etcetera, so on, so forth, the like, the rest, and all that...

a resounding "duh"...

you will find every personality type - given they have enough motivation to begin...

... ... ...

okay.

so I was going to label people (in general - not specific people)... but I am too lazy, so I will not.

... ... ...

so I should add laziness to one of my motifs.

... ... ...

my themes are very blatant.

perhaps so blatant that my themes really are not what I think they are but something more (or less) observable...

like "being apparent"
or "stating the obvious"
or "talking-in-circles-until-you-talk-yourself-into-a-contradiction"

and I think I will add ending abruptly to my themes...

I seem to do

except for...

it is bad for ones heart...

I had a lot of that drug today.

it is a stimulant.

that could explain a lot of things.

and now my contacts are drying out on me.

so I will go and rehydrate my self.

I should try to stop drinking so much caffeine.

well...

unless they start mixing it with vitamins...

at that point caffeine should be better for you, right?

Yes, right...

it could be a mix of pent up energy...
it could be a mental imbalance...
it could be a cry against the constraints of "normal" life...
if could be out of sheer boredom...

I could try to focus my energy to do something productive...

productive, however, can only be fun sometimes...

but let us not get into that...

belting out songs to the top of my vocal range(and the attempts to go past said range)...
banging out tunes on the piano...
trying to play the guitar (with no training, formal or informal... well, besides the three chords D maj, E min, and A maj... I think)...

it is a release.

some people get this release from running around...
others, by gambling...
and others still by...

well... whatever other things that people do...

anyhow...

there is a constant soundtrack that plays in my head...

when I see a situation, my head fills with the music for that scene...
when I hear music, my head fills with a scene that will accompany the music...

the only problem is...
I do not have the talent to get that music out of my head for other people to hear.

I am not that talented.

Some people have the ability to play the music that resides in their brains, and some people have the ability to mimic that which they heard, and others still have the ability to recognize the genius of the sounds that are composed.

Then there are the unlucky ones who can neither create, copy, or appreciate music.

that must be hell...

to have no score.
to have no break beat.
to have no sound.

music moves me - it moves in me - it moves through me.

but as much as I love it and appreciate it...

I need to practice to tame it and bend it according to my will...

I just have to lick the ADD and I will be all set.

So, why am I crazy?

Answer me this...

Why did the old lady swallow the fly? Read more.

yes... now we can go snowboarding in Southeast Michigan -

it just dumped on us, and it will be cold enough for them to make snow...

problem...

yesterday it took me one hour to get to work...

then it took me three and a half hours to drive home...

... ... ...

I could have driven to chicago and worked from there...

... ... ...

and then, I had the pleasure of shoveling the snow from the driveway...

yes.

it was quite fun...

except for...

not really...

... ... ...

I'm working from home today...

like right now...

so it's ok now.

something relaxing about working in sweats and watching Transformers while I pound out code...

... ... ...

I think that is what I am in right now...

everything is on auto-pilot...

I am not thinking too much...

I letting things kinda just go...

I feel like there is a loud rush of wind blowing past my ears, drowning everything out...

I am not in a funk or anything like that. I think I am just in a state of status quo...

all systems normal...

... ... ...

I think its because we are trying to buy a house right now, and we are on the edge of the cliff with every intention of throwing ourselves off...

I used to think dropping $50 here and $100 there was not such a big deal...

now I hesitate to go out to eat because I might drop $15 on just me...

this is pretty much how the next eight months are going to be - and most likely the next few months following that wonderful day...

... ... ...

here is the funny thing:

I am not that worried...

at all.

I think I should be, but whenever I think about it I feel almost peaceful.

My thinking is that journey on which we are about to embark is inevitable.

It must be done.

and when something is inevitable, it does not seem all that big of a deal to me...

If I think I am doing pretty much all I can right now and everything else is up to Him, then there really is not much else to do but just wait it out.

If I feel like I could be doing more, then I would probably not feel so fine about everything...

I could pray more...

well...

I could always pray more...

do you know anyone that prays enough?

... ... ...

"... set the car on cruise and relax..." ~The Fresh Prince

... ... ...

the road looks clear...

but is an unknown road, in unknown territory...

so it is exciting, scary, and peaceful all at once.

craziness...

... ... ...

I am hungry.

Do you people realize how much effort is required to give any effort?

In physics, there is this thing called static friction (as opposed to kinetic friction) where an object has a greater amount of friction while it is inert, and then once it begins to move its friction is less. (duh)

Anyways, this can people directly applied to effort - just replace friction with effort.

I can see that with practice, people make things seem effortless, while really hiding the actual amount of effort required.

So the effort to put forth the effort to do something could be your coefficient of static friction, and then the work could be your load and the effort your force...

and your practice or talent, could be gravity or wind... depending on if your practice actually helps you or hinders you.

... ... ...

or not.

I have not had psychics in a good five years...

... ... ...

whoa.

five years...

... ... ...

eh, whatever.

so I am currently putting forth the best effort I can to look as busy as possible, while still maintaining billable work and trying to find a new project on which to jump, because my tenure on this team is about done.

yeah. I've gotten to the point on this team where I cannot really effectively learn much more.

so I gotta keep on, keep on, keep on singing and dancing all through the night.
Keep on, keep on, keep on doing it right.
I gotta keep on, keep on , keep on moving,
I gotta keep on, keep on, keep on grooving.
Keep on singing and dancing all through the night...

... ... ...

sometimes, thinking takes too much effort, then sometimes executing takes too much effort, then sometimes following through takes too much effort, but the most effort is when you try to do all of the effort at once...

which can be whelming.
overwhelming even.

right now, I am thinking that thinking is too much of an effort, so I just poured it all out...

now I have to clean it up and refill it.

but I just have to get over the coefficient of static effort...

yesterday was monday.

I woke up this morning thinking yesterday was not monday.

so that means I thought it was closer to friday.

but it was not.

That was very depressing.

Today is tuesday.

I went to work.

I thought it was friday.

it was not.

and there are not any tv show on today that I like.

because it is not wednesday.

or even thursday.

and if it were friday.

I would be happy.

tree pretty.

fire bad.

I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning.

it was the Quaker Oats bakery favorites kind - the cinnamon roll flavor...

the concoction is quite tasty, although it might not look too appealing.

Two things you should know though...

one.

If you sneeze while you are eating it, like a boy scout - you should be prepared.
If you are not prepared, you might take a half a second to make a quarter second descision...

... and end up getting oatmeal on your hand, shirt, and monitor.

This is not a big deal...

except for partially chewed oatmeal resembles snot to the average passerby...

Not a good thing.

Two.

If you leave your oatmeal out to the point it gets cold, it will acquire a jello-like consistency, making the already strangely textured breakfast even more strange.

It was almost like eating leche flan, though not quite as enjoyable, and certainly not as ascetically pleasing.

... ... ...

well...

at least I am eating breakfast.

Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff,
and brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. Oh!

That song got stuck in my head today, and it got me thinking about the part in the song about the sealing wax...

When I was younger, I actually thought it was ceiling wax. Of course I never thought of sealing anything, and I knew what a ceiling was and I new what wax was, so I put two and two together to get ceiling wax...

I figured they just used it to fill cracks in the ceiling or to make the ceiling shiny or something...

[by the way, they are homophones. ceiling and sealing. because they sound the same. because that is a homophone. words that sound the same. like read and reed. bank and bank are homonyms. same word, different meaning.]

in any case, now whenever I sing that song, to myself or in my head, I picture ceilings...

I think I remember lorie buying so stationary that included some sealing wax and a seal.

Using seals and sealing wax is magically reminiscent of the middle ages, since when I would watch period movies or shows, they would scratch away a letter with a quill and ink well, pepper it with some powder (I actually thought they sprinkled it with pepper, because whenever someone did that, they almost always sneezed immediately afterwards), and then blotting it, before rolling it up and stamping their seal upon the wax.

So when I do use sealing wax, I am whisked away into the dark ages of kings and knights and the bubonic plague...

well not so much the plague.

eric once named a chipmunk "Bubba"...

after the bubonic plague.

I hope my sister does not allow him to name my future niece or nephew (or both) with the same presence of mind... um... or lack therof.

I'm sure they will pick "Ryan" if it's a boy, or "Rya" if it's a girl.

:-P

or not... Read more.

Catchup \Catch"up\, Catsup \Cat"sup\, n. [Probably of East Indian origin, because it was originally a kind of East Indian pickles.] A table sauce made from mushrooms, tomatoes, walnuts, etc. [Written also ketchup.]

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

-

The words "ketchup" and "catsup" both come from the Malay word "kechap," from the Chinese word "ketsiap," a sauce made from fermented fish and brine. Pickled fish sauce may not sound all that appealing on french fries, but the Malay word "kechap" itself really only meant "taste." After the word migrated into English in the 17th century (as "catchup," still an accepted spelling), it was applied to a variety of sauces and condiments. It was only with the importation of the tomato to Europe from its native habitat in South America that what we now know as ketchup was born. Modern ketchup is made of tomato sauce, vinegar, sugar and spices, and not a speck, thank heavens, of pickled fish.

Source: Evan Morris, The Word Detective, © 2000 Algonquin Books

very versatile...

catsup (or ketchup) takes all of the good things about tomatoes, and concentrates it into a sweet sauce that goes with fries, burgers, embutido, onion rings, and dim sum...

wait... scratch the dim sum...

oh, but porta once told me that you should really use a lot of catsup in spaghetti sauce...

right?

yup! That's what I thought

in any case, I just had some catsup with my embutido sandwich.

have you ever had that banana ketchup? I hear it's all the rage.

except for...

not really...

... ... ...

hoy... I scored two goals today playing soccer...

my first and second indoor goals of my career...

woo hoo!!!

hoy, now dat I'm back home... I hap to catsup on my sleep...

ina antok ako...

sige na.

I have been having a debate with myself for a while, but since I contradict my self quite often, the debate seems to go nowhere.

whether I recognized it before or not, it has been something running in the background of my mind and I guess has just been defined...

the definition was brought into light during another very long day at work yesterday, and I have been rolling it around in my head since last night.

Basically, an area for which I was responsible was having problems, and has been having a number of problems lately, none of which are actually my fault, but because I am responsible for that area, I feel like I should have known about these problems.

In reality there was no reason for me to know that these problems exist, but because I am actually harder on myself that I should be, I feel like I should have some how.

silly.

[it's funny how you are harder on yourself for things that other people see as no big deal, and with things that others consider a major issue, you have no problem - but that's a different topic.]

in any case, the debate in my head involves my responsibilities: things for which I am responsible, things for which I am truly not responsibile, and the huge gray area between the two.

[gray seems to be my favorite color since it, to me, represents malleabilty/flexibility - which can also be read as fear of commiting myself to an idea due to the fear of being wrong - no scratch that... I choose a path and I run down it, seldom looking in any direction but forward - sometimes headlong into the wrong idea - I think it is more in hindsight that I say I fear commiting to an idea, because I do not like it when I am wrong and proven thus - but since I do like to have the right information I cannot say I do not like to be shown that I am wrong, it just does not feel comfortable. So it can be said that I like having the right info, but do not make me feel bad when you give it to me, or I will bite back... or something. Whatever, gray is comfortable]

Since I usually take the responsibility of everything that is attractively presented to me [dependent on my state of mind], I have often run into the problem of spreading myself too thin, to the point where I can be almost ineffective.

Objectives, goals, restrictions are all things that help us focus. I guarrantee that if I picked just one thing to master, I would be the extreme and total master of it...

but variety is the spice of life, and I like being spicy...

that, and the fact that no matter how good you are at something, there is always someone better... [except for those few people who are actually the best during their short time in this world]

so I will be a jack, instead of a king... [although somehow I cannot shake wanting to be king, but I would probably have to do it without the line.]

Deadlines are my biggest motivators and hope is on what I thrive.

I am a capable procrastinator and optimist.

I am a repair man.

I would like to believe that I try to fix everything I can when I come to it [which ultimately results in the spreading thin], but I do not have the knowledge or time to fix everything, and, quite honestly, I can get overwhelmed which drops my motivation down to a big fat zero...

If I cause an error, I like to be able to fix it. But depending on my mood and availability and environmental factors, if I cannot immediately see that the error is with me, I will try to figure out who is responsible so they can fix it.

[things are easier when you can work at it with other people, problems seem smaller, solutions are apparent more readily. The paradox that I am is that other certain types of people seem to motivate me, but I find that many times I like to work alone probably from the impatience of having to work with people that do not motivate me. This could explain me getting overwhelmed and just stopping]

If it was everyone's responsibility to fix problems as soon as they appeared, then:
1. We would waste less time point fingers instead of finding solutions
2. There would be fewer problem waiting for someone to claim them
3. People would work together more to solve problems.

But because of the almighty dollar [means to an end] and evident laziness [that's me], productivity and blaming are a part of the rat race in which most of find ourselves...

which sucks.

that is quite a bleak perspective.

I do not have an answer for this.

It is not my job.

Hook versus Peter Pan...

I have had some time to let the new movie (Peter Pan) sink in as well as remembering the older one (Hook)...

and I am ready to commit to the following statement.

Peter Pan is far superior to Hook.

To my knowledge there was nothing incredibly outstanding to Hook, except for the cherished memories of an eighth-grader who saw fun rebellion in the Lost Boys... Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman were brilliant as usual, but there was a significant amount of cheese in Hook.

Peter Pan, however, follows the story of Sir J. M. Barrie rather well, albeit a bit darker. Also the acting is well played (especially Hook) and the sets were gorgeous...

of course I have read the story now... whereas before I thought I had read the story of Peter and Wendy, but really I just downloaded the text from the book and ended up reading Alice in Wonderland instead...

silly me.

... ... ...

speaking of pirates...

Pirates of the Carribean was also swell... luckily I own it...

and I know how to make a "backup" of it too...

... ... ...

- Why didn't the pirate go see the movie?

- Because it was Rated Arrrgh!...

[insert groan here]

... ... ...

"Oh, the cleverness of me!"

a free lunch...

it was actually free...

Lorie made it for me and delivered it to my office for me (on her way to work)...

except I had to get to work at 7:00 am... well, more like 7:15 am.

in any case, that would have been extremely early for me, had it not been for the fact that, prior to the holidays, I was coming into work at around 7:30 am...

for the record, this is 1.5 hours earlier than my previous usual.

so, I had to get up super early to get to my office 15 minutes earlier so that I could get a "free" homemade lunch.

chicken ceasar pita wrap.

she even separated the chicken and lettuce from the pita so my pita would not get soggy.

she's so sweet. This has got to mean she loves me.

[insert thunderous applause here]

I ate the lunch with gusto.

I would show you a picture of the neatly packed lunch, but I ate it whilst I contemplated taking the picture. Upon finishing my contemplation, I realized that I had no more lunch of which to take a picture.

too bad for you.

but I think I got a drop of ceasar salad dressing on my pants.

... ... ...

I checked. I know I got a drop of ceasar salad dressing on my pants.

... ... ...

I just wiped up what I could with the pink napkins that were included with said meal.

why do they even make pink napkins?

I can understand it is cheaper to make pink napkins than making red ones (less dye), and I can see blue, yellow, or white matching with most kitchens...

but not pink...

people will buy napkins regardless of the color (well so long as they are not some grotesque color or obnoxious design) so save on the dye and just make more white napkins...

but what do I know... there has probably been a ridiculous amount of market research showing that people like to buy pink napkins because pink napkins make people happy...

or something.

and stuff.

today, I completed a sentence within which were many acronyms...

"Did you complete the C/CT for CP and CMR and verify that the DSA's had TL, AS, and TM sign off?"

I could have added, "I need that ASAP or else the client is SOL and we will look like POS."

but I did not because I did not recognize that the sentence which I had constructed was so acronymy...

Well..
That's it...
For now...

PS - I need to find stuff on which I should work now.

PPS - I also need to join Bejeweled Anonymous... that game has turned into a form of crack...

not that I had one... but that is what today was... umm... at church... the Epiphany. (but it is actually supposed to be celebrated on Janauary 6th - but I guess "they" moved like "they" move MLK Day around)

marking the end of the official religious Christmas season (Epiphany is the climax of the Christmas Season - where the three magi "reveal" Jesus and Lord and King - and the supposed end of the Twelve Days of Christmas, December 25th to January 5th)...

whereas the commercial Christmas ended at the stroke of midnight following December 25th.

It's funny how commercial Christmas starts after Halloween and ends on Christmas Day and how the official religions Christmas starts with Advent and ends with the Epiphany...

Commercially, Christmas is celebrated much longer and many people, religious or not, partake in the glorified materialism thrust upon us...

I do it. I'm a materialistic whore.

(I'm not going to deny something so obvious)

Spiritually, Christmas is probably the next most important religious event after Easter (Easter is the foundation of the Christian faith... if you care, and if you do care, you probably knew that, so it was probably pointless for me to point this out)

whatever...

I have no point.

I just felt like typing something.

happy new year to all...

I don't think I've mentioned that yet.

:-P

... to hell is paved with good intentions...

it's funny how in order to change something you don't like you must focus on it and live in it until you either have the courage and strength to change or overcome or until it engulfs you...

most people like to avoid conflicts , and therefore try to avoid the problem before them.

I enjoy a challenge, but sometimes I just feel like ignoring a problem because sometimes I just get too tired...

the analogy of the wide but crooked road to damnation and the straight and narrow road to salvation is very simple and very powerful.

the way I see it, there is only one, yet very simple way to do things...

and somehow I (or we) can make things very complicated...

th simple path the looks not quite so simple. How many people do you know can drive on a straight road forever and not drift to the side at all (even if it is for just a little)?

I guess that is the strange and truly wonderful thing about God. He continues to love us, knowing that we will have bumps (sin), that we will not always know which path to follow. How can I not appreciate that? There is a patience there that will be boundless until judgement day...

I guess on that day, everyone has to cash in their chips.

so, good intentions and going to hell?

how does that happen?

[incomplete]